tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post1263334881628780320..comments2023-07-28T09:40:38.679-04:00Comments on Messy Wife, Blessed Life: Nursing in Church: Yay or Nay?Mandi Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14641577291206420549noreply@blogger.comBlogger29125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-90580141401093232052013-09-27T11:26:59.917-04:002013-09-27T11:26:59.917-04:00Hi Mandi! The third Maria Lactens picture you have...Hi Mandi! The third Maria Lactens picture you have (the one labeled "anonymous") is my neighbor, so to speak! She's Our Lady of the Milk Grotto in Bethlehem, and I live in Jerusalem. She's responsible for hundreds of miracle babies! I wrote about her in my Quick Takes today if you want to check it out. :) <br /><a href="http://shalomsweethome.com/2013/09/27/quick-takes-black-mud-bethlehem-and-blackouts/#qt6" rel="nofollow">http://shalomsweethome.com/2013/09/27/quick-takes-black-mud-bethlehem-and-blackouts/#qt6</a>Jessa @ Shalom Sweet Homehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07737085169603327912noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-91844021138078365012013-09-26T16:19:13.167-04:002013-09-26T16:19:13.167-04:00Your experience and opinion is much like mine. I h...Your experience and opinion is much like mine. I have nursed all of my babies at Mass and felt comfortable doing so. itsmecarolinevhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02710700052415818889noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-91710676346805922622013-09-26T16:16:23.947-04:002013-09-26T16:16:23.947-04:00Thank you for this perfectly timed post!
As a so...Thank you for this perfectly timed post! <br /><br />As a soon-to-be first-time mother (6 weeks until my due date!) and one who believes very strongly in a mother's right to feed her child when and wherever necessary, this particular issue is one I've been thinking about pretty regularly lately. <br /><br />We've only been at our current parish for a little less than 2 years, and I'm normally sitting with the choir, so I've never noticed other women breastfeeding during Mass. My sister has always left the church to feed her son (but I've only been around her a few times at Mass the last couple years, since she lives out of state, and as far as I've noticed she's not comfortable nursing in public anyway) -- my point being that I don't have many examples to go off.<br /><br />It's really comforting to know that there are other women out there who are supportive of breastfeeding in church, and I love your point of looking to the Blessed Mother and Jesus as our example.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15091544374147442288noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-23341597829381099082013-09-26T15:36:39.837-04:002013-09-26T15:36:39.837-04:00Well done, Mandi - thank you so much - this is rea...Well done, Mandi - thank you so much - this is really a wonderful post. As I started reading, I thought to myself, "Wow, I'm going to quote that line of hers in the comment I make to her, and enthusiastically tell her how much I love it, because it is spot on!" And then I kept reading, and I re-thought that identical comment over and over and over again. I can't pick a favorite! I'm going to save and remember this post for a long time - you share my own thoughts nearly to a T, but this is much more articulate than I could imagine myself coming up with. Well said, friend. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12459651134203352282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-22992009160381648492013-09-26T11:09:47.881-04:002013-09-26T11:09:47.881-04:00This is a great perspective...though we don't ...This is a great perspective...though we don't have kids yet, I've wondered how it has worked for other mommies on nursing in public. If people are going to get there panties in a know because is nursing her baby at church, maybe they should get a little more concerned when there daughter goes out wearing shorts that look like a wide belt....sorry no more soap box! ;)<br />And those images too of the Blessed Mother nursing are really cool too, I've never seen any before this!Pattyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05900413545108321127noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-31964447530033959332013-09-26T02:30:32.554-04:002013-09-26T02:30:32.554-04:00Love this Mandi! I couldn't agree more. I purp...Love this Mandi! I couldn't agree more. I purposefully nurse during mass to try to get little babies to fall asleep and bigger babies to be quiet.<br /><br />I do always use a cover, but all those images of Our Lady do make me wonder if things were a lot different, nursing-wise during the Renaissance!Kendra Tierneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04212829372556908004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-24704219378996950442013-09-25T22:09:46.978-04:002013-09-25T22:09:46.978-04:00Also, new title for your another post:
My Most Be...Also, new title for your another post:<br /><br />My Most Beloved KeepsakesJenna@CallHerHappyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05587606918705423050noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-58669147232822248642013-09-25T22:07:06.940-04:002013-09-25T22:07:06.940-04:00Holy comments, Batman! What an interesting topic! ...Holy comments, Batman! What an interesting topic! I NIP without a cover on the daily, and I do the same in church. For some reason (probably bc I always feed Sam right before we leave for Mass, so the timing is the same), Sam always wants to eat just 5-10 minutes before we process for Communion. I have received the Eucharist on my tongue with a baby on my breast so many times. I just think to myself, "Christ, nourish me so I can nourish him."Jenna@CallHerHappyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05587606918705423050noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-88358991165578943382013-09-25T21:20:07.471-04:002013-09-25T21:20:07.471-04:00I think we need to do everything we can to normali...I think we need to do everything we can to normalize breastfeeding again. It reminds me of one of Christy's post about sometime the sacraments are all a mother has - sometimes, no matter when church falls in a new babies schedule, we *need* to be there in the presence receiving those blessings just as much as the next person. <br /><br />The only devil's advocate I would play on the whole issue is that we need to be mindful of others in the sanctuary. If we notice that our choices to feed a child while at Mass are distracting to others - particularly the young or others without as much control over what attracts their notice than I think we have a responsibility to act (whether that's going out of the sanctuary, covering, sitting in the back, etc.) in a way that does not distract from the point of the Mass - the Eucharist. As long as that is in our minds as we (often struggle) to find a way to balance out babies and church than I think all is good in my mind.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17904858990740505588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-63018793651734599112013-09-25T20:31:22.017-04:002013-09-25T20:31:22.017-04:00This is so empowering, Mandi. I never hesitated to...This is so empowering, Mandi. I never hesitated to nurse my son at Mass, but I always felt defensive in advance. With my twins, we have always tandem nursed, and there just really isn't a discreet way to do that, period. (In the early stages of the tandem thing I felt like I didn't have the hang of it enough to do it in public, and about the time I felt confident, they got too wiggly to do it in church.) It is beautiful to connect the sustenance being given in nursing a child to the sustenance we receive in the Eucharist. Thank you for a lovely post. Abbey @ Surviving Our Blessingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07294464284257098902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-86301787860536418172013-09-25T17:19:42.240-04:002013-09-25T17:19:42.240-04:00I am so uncomfortable nursing at mass... especiall...I am so uncomfortable nursing at mass... especially when I'm sitting right next to my friend's husband or something like that. I just don't want THEM uncomfortable and I STINK at covering myself up with a nursing cover. Something inevitably comes out! I do really appreciate that my church has a room connected to the bathroom specifically made for nursing moms. They have a few chairs in there, a changing table, and speakers so we can still hear everything that is going on at mass. I am most comfortable there... but I LOVE seeing moms who can nurse in the church area around everyone else. I think it's beautiful. They make it look sooo easy, too!<br /><br />Thank you for sharing, Mandi :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00234047562369350567noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-20144926054428692342013-09-25T17:13:07.798-04:002013-09-25T17:13:07.798-04:00I try not to nurse in Mass, not because it's M...I try not to nurse in Mass, not because it's Mass, but because I don't like (or I should say Ted doesn't like) covering up to nurse. That being said, I say nursing is better than a crying child and easier than trying to give him a bottle. I think more people are becoming more open to people nursing in public places in general and I see Church as no exception. I think we always worry about the "looks" even if no one is looking at us...it just always seems like they are. :) I say kudos to any mama who is willing to go the extra miles to nurse their child and give them breast milk!Kelliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07618654301891832463noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-9791911657711550742013-09-25T13:53:39.016-04:002013-09-25T13:53:39.016-04:00I've actually had parishioners thank me for nu...I've actually had parishioners thank me for nursing in Mass: http://carrotsformichaelmas.com/2013/01/14/how-my-kids-didnt-ruin-mass/<br /><br />This is fantastic post. I wrote something similar about Maria Lactans--so much Christian art depicting Our Lady nourishing Our Lord. And Kate Wicker wrote a really good post about nursing in Mass.<br /><br />I've actually been blessed to nurse Lucy at the shrine of Our Lady of La Leche in St. Augustine (one of the images above). It was so special and I felt so grateful to be part of a faith that honors mothers and loves children. <br /><br />As I said in my post about kids in Mass, if we are to be truly pro-life, we have to embrace children of all ages in Mass. And there's something so beautiful about the image of a mother feeding her child during the Mass when Jesus feeds us with the grace of his precious Body and Blood. Well done, sister.Haley @ Carrots for Michaelmashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03397638565972508326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-54209742295158802472013-09-25T13:42:43.810-04:002013-09-25T13:42:43.810-04:00I wanted to get one of those infinity scarves that...I wanted to get one of those infinity scarves that were made especially for nursing discreetly. Seems like that would be even less distracting than having the super obvious nursing cover!Mandi Richardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14641577291206420549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-20902989959446605662013-09-25T13:41:40.814-04:002013-09-25T13:41:40.814-04:00Huh, that's an interesting comment your cousin...Huh, that's an interesting comment your cousin made. I just don't get why anyone has such a big problem with it (unless they don't approve of nursing in public at all). It's just crazy to me that breasts have, until the last half century or so, been the only way of maintaining human life and still is the best nourishment for a child and yet THAT function is considered secondary to its sexuality! It just does not make sense at all!Mandi Richardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14641577291206420549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-19443320779078098802013-09-25T13:37:05.045-04:002013-09-25T13:37:05.045-04:00Most churches we've attended really haven'...Most churches we've attended really haven't had any places that were more private than the pews. (No cry rooms even - old churches!) I avoid cry rooms at all costs because there are usually rowdy (rude) children there and ever noisier parents and that is not at all a comfortable place for me to nurse. Mandi Richardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14641577291206420549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-44785259973210328722013-09-25T13:32:25.867-04:002013-09-25T13:32:25.867-04:00Thanks, Mo! It never occurred to me that it might...Thanks, Mo! It never occurred to me that it might be inappropriate, but I think that might be because I had a very, "It's natural, it's God-created" viewpoint from the beginning. I'm hoping that our society starts to view breastfeeding as the norm so that future generations never even need to have this internal dialogue.Mandi Richardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14641577291206420549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-17964465856137426652013-09-25T13:29:58.675-04:002013-09-25T13:29:58.675-04:00I agree, once they are acrobatic, they're usua...I agree, once they are acrobatic, they're usually old enough to be able to get through Mass without nursing! Mandi Richardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14641577291206420549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-13505650978016018982013-09-25T13:29:02.404-04:002013-09-25T13:29:02.404-04:00I agree that we should limit the distractions to p...I agree that we should limit the distractions to people around us, but for the most part, breastfeeding is not distracting, especially if done while well-covered (either by an actual nursing cover, or clothing that hides it well, etc.) If an adult is uncomfortable seeing it, they can avert their eyes. <br /><br />I look at it similarly to having a toddler in Mass. I do everything possible to keep my toddler quiet and fairly still so she doesn't distract others, and take her out if I have to (just like a nursing mother with a gymnast nurser or other breastfeeding issues that are particularly distracting would do), but she has a right to be in the church. She may be doing small distracting things, but she should still be allowed in Mass, and if others are distracted by it, they can turn away, move, or use it as a way to learn to block out outside distractions to focus more on Christ. They may give me dirty looks or say rude things, but my daughter belongs there, just as a nursing mother does.Mandi Richardshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14641577291206420549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-313291189743648352013-09-25T12:03:45.150-04:002013-09-25T12:03:45.150-04:00Mandi, Thanks so much for writing the post! (and ...Mandi, Thanks so much for writing the post! (and for writing it so well, for that matter!)<br /><br />Part of the reason I had suggested it was because I'm trying to unpack my own thoughts on the matter. I'm completely comfortable nursing (and have done so, with a cover) pretty much everywhere except in church. It was sort of an instinctive feeling that I should go to the cry room instead of staying in the pew, and still not sure exactly why. <br /><br />I think part of it is just not wanting to be a distraction during Mass (in part due to Anna's nursing acrobats), even to those who share an understanding of the natural/holy nature of breastfeeding. For example, we have a friend who is a priest who completely supports breastfeeding, but still feels uncomfortable is women nurse in front of him (even with a cover) - and I respect that someone could have that view, and accordingly go in another room or make extra effort to be extremely discreet when we're spending time with him. Similarly, I think we have a responsibility to contribute to an environment of reverence in the church - and that includes going to the cry room if nursing is going to be a huge distraction to other parishioners. I'm glad to hear that in your experience it hasn't been a problem for anyone!<br /><br />You make excellent points in your post, and I think I agree with it all, even though - as I said - I'm still figuring out exactly where I stand and what I'll do in the future. I'd be really curious to hear if anyone has a difference opinion that what you've written here.<br /><br />Thanks again for such a well-written response! <br /><br />Now - for my next question - does anyone know what the kids-at-Mass situation was like during our grandparent's generation? I've always wondered what it was like when almost everyone had large families. Did they take their babies and toddlers? Was it noisy or was there a very-well-used cry room? Did moms and dads go separately and leave the kids at home? I know that culturally speaking more people bottle-fed than nursed, so that wouldn't have been an issue, but in terms of keeping kids quiet during Mass, there's got to be some lessons we could learn from that time. Right?<br />Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12562306924797465454noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-64342105874608259282013-09-25T11:08:03.973-04:002013-09-25T11:08:03.973-04:00I generally stop nursing in church once they get t...I generally stop nursing in church once they get too acrobatic - for a while I would have to take John Paul into the adoration chapel, turn the light off, and lie down on the floor to nurse him. That's when I decided just not to let him nurse during Mass at all anymore :P And with Cecilia, we lived so close to church that once she got to be about 9 months old or so, she could last that hour without nursing and it was easier for me to wrangle John Paul if I could just hand her off to Andrew. Rosiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12888635342531960478noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-40500651785201815962013-09-25T10:48:44.825-04:002013-09-25T10:48:44.825-04:00What a wonderful post! Thank you for speaking up o...What a wonderful post! Thank you for speaking up on this. It's hard enough taking kids to Mass, even in my Parish with is really child friendly, you still get the occasional look from someone when they get chatty or cry, and nursing can make it even more stressful. At first I didn't think it was appropriate, but than I realized, like you said, that Jesus was most likely breastfed. I get so happy seeing other mothers in at Mass with all their little ones, and seeing them stay in their seat and sit with confidence and nurse is so wonderful.Mohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09484667107040123326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-57156738462297340822013-09-25T10:45:39.190-04:002013-09-25T10:45:39.190-04:00I nursed in church a ton! We did bring bottles of ...I nursed in church a ton! We did bring bottles of expressed milk a few times because I was lectoring. I really didn't want to have to un-latch her to get up and do a reading (or read with babe attached to me..hmm). I also used a cover and felt odd about it at first. But it was fine. I'm trying to remember if I've ever seen anyone else breastfeed in church, and I'm sure they were (we go to a huge parish with lots of big families) but I just didn't see it.Cathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11753603934212387119noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-31700128941653043392013-09-25T10:33:17.013-04:002013-09-25T10:33:17.013-04:00This is great timing! My 7 week old eats nearly ev...This is great timing! My 7 week old eats nearly every hour during the day and the last three weeks has needed to nurse during mass. I have nursed with a cover in the pew without hesitation bur the other day I did wonder for the first time what other people thought about <br />This. It is always nice to feel validated and your post did just that!Stephanie Kunghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09586337442160000738noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-63513106626900514362013-09-25T09:57:40.235-04:002013-09-25T09:57:40.235-04:00Great post! I've been wondering what other peo...Great post! I've been wondering what other people thought about this as well. I agree with you that we shouldn't have to leave Mass to nurse our babies. It's a great way to keep them quite for a little bit while you actually listen :-) I personally don't use a nursing cover. I usually wear a scarf or have two shirts on so that it's not obvious that I'm nursing. It's getting a little bit more difficult now that the gymnastics are starting though hahaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com