Guest Post at NFP and Me: NFP For Achieving a Pregnancy

Katie of NFP and Me graciously offered me the opportunity to write a guest post about my experiences using Natural Family Planning for her series on the differences between NFP and contraception.  After much thought, I decided to write about using NFP to conceive, an aspect of NFP that I feel if often overlooked, yet is something that clearly sets it apart from contraception.  Here's a sneak peak:

Usually when I hear about Natural Family Planning, the focus is on preventing pregnancy.  I think this is, in part, due to the fact that Natural Family Planning proponents want to prove that it is an alternative just as effective as contraception.  Although it is certainly true that NFP is very effective at preventing pregnancy, this emphasis saddens me because I believe that by simply comparing the preventative abilities of NFP with contraception, we lose the essence of what it truly is.  It is not simply a method for preventing pregnancy, but rather a comprehensive system in which knowledge of the female body is utilized to plan a family – both to prevent (or postpone) pregnancy and to achieve pregnancy.  Unlike contraception, NFP has a beautiful, life-giving component which should not be overlooked...continue reading at NFP and Me

Please go on over and read the post and while you're at it check out some of the great posts Katie's written!



If you are visiting my blog for the first time from her site, welcome!  I hope you'll stay a while and read a little about my life in a new state, as a relatively new wife (as of July 2010), and mother-to be (I'm currently two days past my due date, so it won't be long now!).

A Beautiful Mass

Mass yesterday was beautiful.  I’m not sure if it was due to the beginning of Advent or to the new translation of the Roman Missal, although I suspect it was a little of both. 

My husband and I arrived at Sacred Heart Cathedral fifteen minutes early like we always do and it was already so crowded that we took some of the last available seats.  Even though it is the cathedral for the Diocese of Raleigh, Sacred Heart is very small, seating perhaps 250 people and there are usually people standing in the back; however, the pews aren’t usually filled until just before Mass begins and there were considerably more people standing yesterday, filling not just the entrance, but overflowing along the side walls of the cathedral. It was amazing to have the cathedral filled to the brim. 

I’m not sure why so many were there.  Perhaps those that have been away from the Church or who only attend sporadically were inspired by the beginning of the liturgical year and the Advent season to attend more regularly.  My husband thought that the extensive media coverage on the introduction of the revised Missal may have piqued the curiosity of many lapsed Catholics who decided to check out the changes for themselves.  Either way, I will be spending much time this week praying that they will be returning next Sunday.  Looking around at all the people reminded me of the message that was in every Catholic newspaper in our old diocese: “When you’re not at Mass, we miss you.”  So true, their absence will be felt and the cathedral will seem empty if they aren’t there next week.

The introduction of the new translation of the Roman Missal went very well at our parish.  In fact, since everyone was following along with the new responses as written in the bulletin, there was even more participation than during an ordinary Mass.  The responses were louder and more clear than usual - perhaps because many Catholics usually mumble the responses because they aren’t sure of the real words, a problem that is solved when they can read along.  Of course, there were several times when the old words could be heard mixed in with the new (especially “And also with you”), but everyone seemed so good natured about it, lightly chuckling and trying harder the next time. 

The new Missal struck me personally as very powerful and beautiful.  My husband and I went to a Catholic store Saturday in search of an engagement present for my brother-in-law and his fiancée and while there picked up a Sunday Missal for the new liturgical year.  We did so for the readings (we previously printed them out each Sunday to bring with us to Mass), but an unintended advantage was that we had the entire Order of the Mass at our  disposal (including the ten Eucharistic Prayer options).  I was able to follow along not only with the responses of the congregation, but also the parts of the priest which have changed considerably as well.  If you are feeling like you’ll have a hard time learning the new responses, imagine how difficult it is for our priests!  Since I was able to read along closely throughout the entire Mass, I could fully absorb the beauty of the new words, especially new Eucharistic prayer.  I encourage everyone to go out and buy their own Sunday Missal so you can follow along.  I also find it helpful to read and contemplate the readings before Mass and to follow along with them during Mass (especially since sometimes I can’t hear the lectors well).  You can buy the New Saint Joseph Sunday Missal and Hymnal online for $4.95. 

Another reason Mass was so lovely was that the Bishop was presiding.  We’ve been attending Mass at the cathedral since our second week here in Raleigh and this is the first time we have seen the Bishop.  I feel blessed to live in the city at the seat of the diocese, as we also did when we lived in Indiana.  It is incredibly moving to have the privilege of attending a Mass said by your shepherd, the Bishop, something that many Catholics throughout the world never have the opportunity to do. 

The Bishop gave a beautiful homily linking the introduction of the new Missal to the beginning of Advent using the concept of change.  Personally, I feel the new Missal has enhanced my preparation for Advent.  In the past, Advent seemed to sneak up on me, leaving me without an opportunity to prepare.  Yet this year, because of all the preparations for the new Missal, I have been keenly aware of when Advent would begin and have been able to make due preparations. 

How was your first Sunday of Advent?  How was your first experience with the new Missal? 

Advent: Preparing for a Child

Some rights reserved by Per Ola Wiberg Happy New Year to all my Catholic readers!  Today is the first day of Advent, the beginning of the new liturgical year.  We begin a season of preparation, preparing our hearts and our homes for the birth of a child.  The child we wait for is no ordinary child, but He came into the world much in the usual way.  He was cradled in the womb of his mother and just as we prepare for his arrival each year, so too must his mother have prepared for his birth over two thousand years ago.   My husband and I have spent the past nine months preparing to bring a baby in our lives.  As Advent begins, my thoughts turn to how Mary must have prepared for the birth of her son through the nine months of her pregnancy and what we can learn from the Holy Mother’s example. I have not given much thought to this before, Mary’s pregnancy.  The Bible does not give much detail the time between the annunciation and the birth of Christ at Bethlehem.  Despite her trust in the Lord, she must have felt some uncertainty early in her pregnancy before Joseph took her into his home as his wife.  We know that Mary spent some time with her kinswoman Elizabeth during her pregnancy and I imagine that this time spent together was joyful, as the two women shared in the wonder of becoming a mother for the first time and feeling life form within them.   The selflessness of Mary to assist her pregnant cousin while she herself was pregnant is a reflection I have turned to time and time again during my own pregnancy.  Although pregnancy is certainly an exceptional time in a woman’s life and she has additional needs, including needing more rest and more help with certain daily tasks, it is not a time to become self-indulgent.  Much of the pregnancy articles and advice I’ve read this past year seemed to encourage women to focus solely on themselves, to demand that their partners, family, and friends cater to their needs and whims during pregnancy, and to treat themselves to the finest luxuries and comforts.  The Blessed Mother reminds us that this is misguided, that perhaps one of the best ways to prepare for a child is to care for others.  So too can we prepare for the Christ Child this Advent by giving aid to those around us.   This does not mean that we should neglect our own well-being, nor does it mean that we should take on responsibilities that put too much burden upon our shoulders (something I think that happens often during the holiday season).  But Advent reminds us to look outside ourselves.  When we prepare for the birth of a child, we do not want to be caught unaware without the proper necessities to welcome the child into our home: diapers, blankets, clothing, a place to sleep.  So too should be our preparation during Advent as we ready ourselves not only for the birth of Christ, but also for his return.  What do we want Him to see when He returns?  How should we be conducting our lives in light of our Christian faith? While secular society starts the holiday season with Black Friday, thus highlighting the materialistic emphasis that Christmas has acquired in recent years, we as Catholics acknowledge Advent, a time of great reflection and spiritual preparation, as the beginning of our yearly journey toward Christmas.  May your Advent be filled with light as you prepare your hearts and homes for the coming of Christ!

7 Quick Takes Friday (Take 35)

1.  I am very grateful that my husband and I had someplace to go this year for Thanksgiving.  His graduate advisor invited us to her home and her parents made a delicious meal.  Another professor and one of my husband’s lab mates who were unable to go home for the holiday were there as well.  Although I would have made a simplified Thanksgiving dinner for David and me had we not been invited, I think that much of the spirit of the holiday would have been lost.  Thanksgiving is not just about the food or even about gratitude; gathering together and sharing good company is an essential part as well.  While we weren’t with family, we were with kind people and had several hours of wonderful conversation.  2.  Last Saturday, we went to the Raleigh Christmas Parade.  Usually I’m adverse to Christmas activities before Thanksgiving, but I had heard such good things about the parade and didn’t want to miss out.  And I certainly was not disappointed!  It was definitely the largest, longest, and most impressive parade I’ve ever attended.  There were even a few balloons in the spirit of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (I heard from all the Raleigh natives sitting around us that it was the first year for these balloons, so they truly were a treat for all who attended).  Here are a few pictures of some of my favorite parts of the parade:   3.  The last several weeks, I have been very touched by all the kind gestures and comments by strangers.  There’s something about a large pregnant belly that makes people go out of their way to help you!  For example, at the parade, I was sitting on the curb on a blanket and several people around us offered to stand (for several hours!) so that I could sit in their chairs.  I’ve never experienced so much consideration from complete strangers!  4.  Speaking of a large pregnant belly, here is a picture David took of me last Sunday at 39 weeks: 5.  I’ve heard a lot of negative comments this year about Black Friday and materialism.  While I agree that some people go overboard (have you read about the shootings that have occurred today?) and that stores shouldn’t make their employees work ridiculous hours late at night or early in the morning, I do think that when you take the right attitude toward Black Friday, it’s not such a bad thing.  The best Christmas present I ever received was a Kitchen Aid stand mixer that my parents could only afford because it was an amazing Black Friday deal.  It’s such an amazingly useful gift and I’ll have that baby forever! 6.  I’ve been thinking quite a bit about how I want to approach Christmas with my children.  Growing up, my brother and I always received a ridiculous amount of presents, especially from my grandparents.  Of course, my grandparents gave this gifts out of love, but there were two negative consequences that came from it: 1) Christmas became all about the gifts, and 2) we had bedrooms overflowing with toys that we never played with.  To address the first issue, I really hope to spend a lot of time with my kids celebrating Advent to prepare them for Christmas, and to institute Christ-centered Christmas activities.  Even though I won’t need to worry about this for a few years until the baby is old enough to really participate, I’ve already begun to collect some ideas of how to do this since Advent was not something that was ever even discussed outside of Mass when I was growing up.  Does your family have any great Advent or Christmas traditions that help them keep the focus of Christmas on Christ?  7.  As for the overcrowding of unused toys, there is only so much I can do about that.  Even just the thought of all that clutter makes me uneasy.  Fortunately, my mom has already told me that she doesn’t want to go overboard like my grandparents did and plans to get less, more useful gifts for the baby.  She also said that she will try to keep my grandparents under check and will give concrete ideas of Christmas presents to family that asks.  That means I have to already have a Christmas list for the baby this year before he/she is even born!  We have very few books for the baby, so I thought that would be a good, useful thing to ask for, as well as some very basic, classic (especially wooden) toys (even though the baby won’t be ready for toys for a while).  Do you have any other ideas for gifts for a baby’s first Christmas?  Here are a couple of my top choices:

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Saint Cecilia: Virgin and Model Wife?

Today is the Feast of Saint Cecilia.  Several years ago, I chose her as my confirmation Saint, although I am loathe to admit that I chose her somewhat arbitrarily.  My grandmother’s name is Cecilia, and for that reason, she inherited from her parents a beautiful painting that hung in her bedroom of the Saint at a piano, surrounded by angels.  I haven’t seen the painting in years, but I assume that it probably is not as beautiful as I remember.  The beauty came not from the skill of the artist, but from the holiness and serenity that emanated from the painting.  When I chose my confirmation Saint, I did so in part because I knew that it would please my grandmother and in part because I was running out of time to choose and Saint Cecilia was one of the only female Saints I knew by name, but I also like to think that I did so with the image of that painting somewhere in the mind.

Until recently, I did not know much about the life and martyrdom of Saint Cecilia, and perhaps if I had done more research into the Saints before I had chosen one, I would have picked someone else.  As a sophomore in high school, I probably wouldn’t have related well with a third-century virgin martyr.  Yet, as I look at her life from my current situation, she gives me much inspiration and courage as I look to deepen my relationship with Christ.  While she was canonized as a virgin martyr, Saint Cecilia was in fact married.  When they married, her husband Valerian was a pagan, but through the prayers and persuasion of his wife, he and his brother were both baptized and dedicated their lives to aiding other Christians, specifically by burying the bodies of Christian martyrs, before they became martyrs themselves.  What a model of Christian wifehood!  Although I was called not to maintain my virginity but instead to motherhood within my marriage, I too am called to pray for my husband and to take a strong role in maintaining the holiness of my family and my home.  Is there anything a man cannot do with a strong, faithful woman at his side? 

While my own husband is a devout Catholic and perhaps does more to guide me spiritually than I do him, I call upon Saint Cecilia often to pray for those women (and men) whose spouses are not Christian or who do not practice their faith.  I myself come from a mixed-faith family.  My mother was raised Catholic by her Catholic mother and Jewish father (my grandfather finally converted last December after a lifetime of loving the Church from the outside!), and my brother and I were raised Catholic by her and my unpracticing Baptist father.  I know that there are often difficulties that come from a mixed-faith marriage and I pray often for my parents in this respect.  If you have a spouse who does not share your faith or if you know someone in that situation, take strength from Saint Cecilia’s example and pray:

Beloved Jesus, Saint Cecilia’s parents wed her to a pagan nobleman.  Eager to convert her new husband, she told him about the angel that always escorted her.  He wanted to see the angel too, so he asked for his soul to be purified by baptism.  The next time Saint Cecilia prayed, her husband saw the angel place a crown on both of their heads.  I ask her and my guardian angel to pray for the unconverted spouses in my family and circles of friends, and for the spouses who believe in You but are slow in spiritual growth.  Lord, in Your perfect timing, help them to open up to Your friendship and purification.  Saint Cecilia, pray for us.  Amen.

(prayer found at  http://www.marypages.com/PrayerstotheSaints.htm)