tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post7725274663129720591..comments2023-07-28T09:40:38.679-04:00Comments on Messy Wife, Blessed Life: When to tell a toddler about a pregnancyMandi Richardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14641577291206420549noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-78623844567807238562014-06-17T00:37:38.810-04:002014-06-17T00:37:38.810-04:00When we lost our third child, we had already told ...When we lost our third child, we had already told our two boys (then 3.5 and 1. Obviously the one year old had no idea but our 3 year old immediately fell in love. When we lost just a few short weeks later it was very hard. He would cry most nights asking for Jack to come back. He was sad that he was buried under our tree and he was afraid the same would happen to his one year old brother. It was heartbreaking but also healing. Since we could sit and cry together and since he was always (and still is over a year later) willing to listen and to talk about Jack. At first I thought we should wait the next time since it seemed so hard in him, but now that so much time has passed I think we will do the same as before. Celebrate new life from as early on as we know it exists. We want our boys to know and love Jack and any other children we may have that don't make it to birth. I love that as they grow our oldest talks to our youngest about Jack. He also demands that we have our certificate of life for Jack hanging on their room wall. It's the boys room after all so Jack needs to be there. Thank you for your prayers. <br />Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03146385997944306999noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-59764532377914236862014-05-29T10:14:09.851-04:002014-05-29T10:14:09.851-04:00Both of our sons are adopted, and we told our olde...Both of our sons are adopted, and we told our older son as soon as we were matched with his little brother, but not before--except to speak vaguely about how we might adopt a sibling. It seemed premature to tell him sooner, even though others in our lives knew we were waiting for a match. But until then we couldn't give any sense of timing or how old the child would be at adoption or anything else. When we were matched, we had photos and knew who our little guy was, and there was so much to talk about! And we could get excited together. When my sister was expecting a baby, we told our sons when she told us, at the end of the first trimester, and it felt like a very long wait for them. When she lost the baby at 33 weeks, I was really, really glad they had known about the baby and been calling him by name and everything. It makes it more meaningful, I think, when we visit his grave and talk about how he is in heaven. But if they have another baby, I think we would wait a little longer, maybe to the 20-week sonogram, because the pregnancy felt so long to our little ones. Of course, that's different than having a baby within our own family! I don't know whether we would handle that differently. I've never thought about it before!Rita @ Open Windowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04629595241844797435noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8604080738678475033.post-5723128582748262242014-05-29T10:08:47.838-04:002014-05-29T10:08:47.838-04:00We wait until after the 1st trimester, so sometime...We wait until after the 1st trimester, so sometime after 13 weeks. With our second child we told our then, three year old right away since she had told us a week before that she was going to have a baby sister. Telling her when we found out about the pregnancy led to many long months of her asking every day when the baby was going to be born. So now we pretty much keep the news to ourselves until the start of the second trimester so I'm not bombarded with constant questioning while I'm feeling nauseated. Once we tell them, we ask the kids to keep it quiet until we know the gender of the baby. Once we know the gender we happily share the news with everyone. Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08353696433987975754noreply@blogger.com