7 Quick Takes Friday (Take 27)

--- 1 ---

Yesterday I took a tour of a local crisis pregnancy center in the area to learn about their volunteer opportunities.  They have many opportunities to volunteer with administrative work, but I also have the ability to go through training next month to be a counselor and work one on one with pregnant clients seeking support.  I would really love to work as a counselor, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to make an adequate time commitment once the baby arrives in a couple months.  Whatever I decide to do, I am very excited to be involved.  What great timing that I'm starting during the 40 Days for Life!

--- 2 ---

I wrote a post yesterday about how I'm finally getting this housewife thing down.  As soon as I finished writing it, I realized that everything is going to change in a few months once the baby is here, and I'm going to have to relearn all over again.  Of course, I'm so excited for the baby to arrive, but very anxious about adjusting to the change.  If it took me over a year to figure out how to keep house, how long is it going to take to figure out motherhood?  Or is that something you ever really have "figured out"?

--- 3 ---



Source: illgetyoumypretties.blogspot.com via Mandi on Pinterest

 

I've tried several recipes from Pinterest so far, but haven't done much in the way of attempting the many amazing craft/DIY projects I've pinned.  I'd love to make one of these monographed/initialed wall decorations for the baby, but not knowing the sex makes it difficult.  I'm not saying that if I could do it over again, I would find out the sex, because I definitely wouldn't - I love the mounting excitement that comes with the surprise!  But now it leaves me debating whether I should make one of each of these (with the respective initials for the boy and girl names we've chosen)...

Source: etsy.com via Mandi on Pinterest

--- 4 ---

Earlier this week, I bought my first Groupon deal.  I feel like I'm probably the last person to get on the Groupon bandwagon, but I tend to be a little slow in understanding the new "it" things on the internet/social media (I was a slow starter on Pinterest and Twitter too, but I think I'm getting a handle on those too!).  I bought two tickets to a comedy show for $8 (the deal was for $18, but Groupon sent me $10 off code for opening an accound just  few days before).  Did you hear that?  Date night for only $8!

--- 5 ---

I picked up this book, Apollo's Angels: A History of Ballet, at the library a couple weeks ago and only got the chance to start it the other night.  When I saw it on the shelf, I just couldn't resist - a book about the history of ballet!  Oh man, I am such a history nerd AND a girly romantic that once told my parents I wanted to be a ballerina when I grew up.  I probably couldn't have picked a more perfect book for me.

--- 6 ---

I like reading articles about athletes that are strong in their Catholic faith.  I recently came across this one about NFL player Philip Rivers.  I love that he attributed the strength of his marriage to Natural Family Planning.  While much of the news about sports players has become focused around their various sexual daliances and affairs, I found this to be refreshing!
 

--- 7 ---

My husband is working until at least nine tonight.  I know that many wives often have to endure their husband working long hours or being gone on business trips, so I feel like I'm being a baby about it but I just don't know what to do with myself while he's gone because he's never worked later than six o'clock or so.  I have a long, lonely evening ahead of me!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!



Hitting my Stride as a Housewife

Last month, I wrote a post about how I was home all day but couldn't seem to get anything done.  But this week, I feel like I've finally hit my stride as a housewife.  I'm getting housework done, trying new things, and filling extra time with edifying activities.

A couple things have helped me to be more productive. I'm making sure to get out of the house at least once a day to run errands or for social interaction.  I make a to-do list every night for the next day (I really like this printable daily page).  I printed out daily, weekly, monthly, and seasonal cleaning checklists (courtesy of Martha Stewart), put them in page protectors in a binder, and made a point to check off a few chores every day.

But let's be honest, the key to my new found housewife success (well, success is probably too strong of a word, maybe competency is a little more like it) has been Pinterest.  I've been on Pinterest for quite a while now and had a really hard time getting into it.  At first, it just seemed like a place to save pretty pictures, take note of the clothing I would never be able to afford, and admire the crafts I would never be able to execute.  And really, it can still be those things, but I've found that Pinterest is what you make of it, and I've found a way to make it work for me.  I've mostly used it to pin and find recipes, and found it particularly helpful to make two separate boards for recipes - one for new recipes I've found and another to move recipes to once I've tried and enjoyed them.

I've also really liked pinning potential gifts so I have a bank of ideas to draw from when gift-giving occasions arise.  And I've pinned some craft ideas, although I've made sure only pin the ones that are feasible related to my crafting ability (nearly nonexistent) and financial resources (actually nonexistent).

The true magic in Pinterest is that it's forced me to be adventurous and try new things, which has been a huge motivation in getting things done.  Here's a little sampling of some of my new experiments around the house:

End of Summer Harvest Slow Cooker Recipe

Source: crockpot365.blogspot.com via Mandi on Pinterest

I made this for last night's dinner with vegetables I got at the farmer's market last weekend.  I had to go all over the city to find the dried white Cannellini beans (finally found them at Whole Foods), but it was definitely worth it.  It was the first time I'd used our crock pot since receiving it as a wedding gift over a year ago, but I am definitely hooked on slow cooking - I spent a half hour chopping vegetables and putting everything in the crock pot in the morning and didn't have to worry about cooking for the rest of the day.  And I loved how it made the whole apartment smell.  Mmmm...

Roasted Fall Vegetables

                                                                           Source: marthastewart.com via Mandi on Pinterest

I made these roasted fall vegetables with fish for dinner Sunday night.  I'd never made roasted vegetables before, although I had some recently at a friend's barbecue and had been wanting to try it.  When I came across this recipe, I was inspired.  Although the weather is still a little too warm for all this fall-themed food, these recipes looked just too good to resist!

Homemade Laundry Detergent

                                                                         Source: thesimpledollar.com via Mandi on Pinterest

I made my first batch of homemade laundry detergent yesterday.  I haven't had a chance to use it yet, so I'm not sure how well it will work, but if it does, it definitely will save us quite a bit on laundry detergent in the future.  Plus, it was kind of fun to make.  I felt like a chemist mixing ingredients (yes, I know that was a really dorky analogy, but why does my husband get to have all the fun working in a lab?).  

If you've enjoyed reading about my new housewife adventures this week, 
you can check out more adventurous bloggers at Alicia's Homemaking.  

 

On Marrying Young: Keeping House

One of the biggest difficulties I had adjusting to life as a wife stemmed not from the new marriage, but from the fact that I had never managed a household, something that I attribute to my age.  Many of the women I know who married in their late twenties or beyond had lived alone for years, many of them owned their own homes, and they had already learned housekeeping skills.  Of course, keeping house is a bit different with a husband, and later on with children, but many of the basic skills need not be relearned. 

Although I hadn’t lived in my parents’ home for five years, those five years were spent very much in “college living”.  I lived in the dorms the first year, and the same house the next four years while rotating through various roommates.  Living with other people in a non-family setting meant that chores weren’t done regularly or with any rhyme or reason.  I could cook a few decent meals, but I rarely bothered making full meals because it seemed like a lot of hassle for one person and with my busy work and school schedule, I felt my time was better spent doing something else.   Looking back, it  was very shortsighted of me to neglect the development of these basic skills.  For some reason, I was assuming that when I said my marriage vows, I would suddenly be endowed with “wifely knowledge”.   Yet over a year later, I am still struggling to keep my home clean, stocked, and welcoming.

My husband has never complained when the house was cluttered, the cupboards were bare at dinnertime,  or laundry overflowed the hamper.  He’s always pitched in around the house and I was incredibly lucky to marry a man that actually likes to clean.  But despite his support, my lack of housekeeping skills put a great burden on me because I felt like a failure as a wife.  I had a picture of how I wanted my household to run, but couldn’t make it a reality.  The emotional, intellectual, and spiritual components of marriage and the blending of two lives is a difficult adjustment for any newlywed couple, and had I not had to worry so much about daily household maintenance, I would have had more attention to devote to those more important aspects. 

Of course, this certainly isn’t a reason to postpone marriage.  But I do want to mention it because young women can do much to prepare themselves for marriage so that they will be ready no matter when that marriage will occur.  Don’t make the mistake that I did, believing either that you would have many years before marriage to learn those skills (you never know when God will send you your husband) or that you would magically pick up the housekeeping skills that take many women a lifetime to learn. 

Instead, identify the women in your lives that have mastered these skills - perhaps your own mother, another family member or a friend, and ask for advice.  If there is something that is difficult for you, ask for explicit instructions - although there isn’t necessarily one best way to execute a household chore, some methods are certainly better than others and they aren’t always obvious.  But most of all, practice!  Even if you are the only one who will see or appreciate the fruits of your labor, cook and clean as if you have an audience.  If you still live at home with your family, they will appreciate the help.  If you live alone or with roommates, you will be surprised by the difference that a little more care around your home may make to other areas of your life (I notice that I am much cheerier and more productive if the room I am working in is clean).  And when you marry, you’ll have a little less to adjust to and more time to spend getting to know your role as wife, not just housewife.   

Please check out the other posts (including some great guest posts) in my On Marrying Young series.  

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30 Weeks

At 30 weeks, my pregnancy is approximately 3/4ths over.  What a bittersweet time.  On one hand, I am getting ever more anxious to meet my little one and to hold him or her in my arms.  On the other hand, I've loved being pregnant, loved holding and caring for my baby in the most intimate way as he or she grows within me. 

This past week, the baby has been moving more than ever.  It's such a strange feeling; I didn't expect that some of the kicks and movements could be so painful and uncomfortable.  But I don't really mind the short-lived discomfort because it reminds me that baby is alive and healthy.

This week we've also been making great strides toward preparing a space in our home for the baby.  Just today, we hung decorations in the baby's room and the daddy-to-be put together our travel system.  Although there are still some essential items we need to get over the next two months, we have all the things we need to be able to bring baby home: clothes, diapers, and a carseat. 

I still can't comprehend that we'll have a baby here in our home and in our lives in just a few short months.  Nor can I truly understand how much the baby will change our lives.  But I do know this: we are filled with joy to find out! 

On Marrying Young: Married Young in New York

I am pleased to introduce yet another guest post in my On Marrying Young series.  The response that the series has received has really blown me away.  It's a topic that's been on my mind quite a bit since I "married young" last year, and I'm glad that other people can relate.

Liz found my blog while she was looking for other Catholic “newlyweds”.  Well, she certainly found a like soul in me, because we soon discovered that we were married on the very same day!  I love Liz's guest post because she does a great job explaining why they decided to get married when they did, as well as making it clear that it wasn't a decision they made lightly.  I have no doubt that they made the right choice!

______________________

Living in New York, we are considered to have married young. We were both 26 when we got married in July 2010. However, we do have several friends that got married right after college. Interestingly, we got married because we thought it was the right time in our lives. My husband had just passed the NYS Bar Exam and secured a well paying job. I finished my Master's degree and had stable employment.

We often say that we have been "married" for 7 years. Seven years ago we started dating. Ten years ago we met on the Freshmen Retreat at our Catholic college. When we met, I was interested in him but we became best friends and stayed like that for the next few years. We decided to start dating during our senior year of college. We were faithful to each other from day one. There was little discussion as to whether we would stay together after college. The hubby decided to move to NY for law school and I moved home to find a job. Based on our lifestyle over the years, marriage wasn't that large of a step for us. The transition from a dating couple to a married couple was smooth and came with ease. Many people often tell me that the first year or so of marriage is the hardest. Well, if that’s the case then the rest of our lives should be a picnic!

When the hubby proposed, one of the things he said was that he didn’t want to be apart anymore. He decided that he would propose when I was leaving him at the train station on Sunday night. He would  come each weekend to stay with my parents and I and on Sunday he would go back to school. We hated being separated so much and living together without the benefit of marriage was just not an option.

Since my husband had been to law school and I had been to graduate school during the time we were dating, both of us are saddled with very large school loans. Many of our friends have chosen to get married without completing upper level degrees.  Others choose to live with their significant other without getting married. We were blessed to have our parents contribution toward our wedding. They were both in favor of the marriage and continue to support us with their love and encouragement each day.

Presently, we live on a strict budget, without children (YET!), in a rented apartment, with one car, without cable, without an internet connection, and without a land line. If we had waited to get married, things would have been different. We may have been more financially stable and been able to have a few more luxuries. However, we are comfortable and happy in our simple life together. We do not feel as though we are missing out on things. Many of our friends cannot imagine their lives without a big house, multiple cars, and various technologies. We cannot imagine our lives without one another.

We are fortunate to have the hubby’s parents as a wonderful example of making a life together from very little. The hubby’s father was a missionary and the hubby’s mother lived overseas. Due to political turbulence in the country they were in, they had to return to the United States. Upon returning to the U.S., the hubby’s father was in his 40s and his mother was in her 30s. The hubby was born within the year. They eventually bought a home, both found jobs, and the hubby was well educated. This is everything we would like for our family.

The hubby’s parents always told us that marriage was not something to enter into lightly. You get married once and you work through the difficult times. There is no divorce. Marriage was something we never thought twice about. We frequently talked about "when we are married" when we were still in college. In the weeks leading up to our wedding, many people asked us if we were nervous because we were getting married so young. Both of us were surprised by this question. Why would we get married if we were nervous about spending the rest of our life with the other person. Many people thought this was a big decision for people who were so young. Well, we made that decision and many others responsibly and with great thought. Our choice to marry at 26 was something that we don't regret.

It may take us awhile before we can buy a home but, we will be making a life together from the bottom up. One couple that we look up to is my husband's Godparents. They have been married 50 years and were married in their very early 20s. After all this time, they laugh together, dance together and celebrate each day as if they were still newlyweds. I love that their marriage is so alive. They will be the first to tell you that marrying young as immigrants wasn't easy but they don't regret it for a minute. They are able to see their children grow up and have children. They may even live to see their great-grandchildren. Isn't that a wonderful thought?

One of the reasons we got married young was because we would like to be young parents. We would like our parents to be young grandparents. I grew up with older grandparents who passed away before my youngest brother was even in high school. My husband never met three out of four of his grandparents. We would love for our children to be able to enjoy younger grandparents. We would be thrilled if they were able to spend lots of time to together and experience all kids of things. If we were to have married later, we would have had children later and therefore our parents would be older.

My husband and I never felt like we were getting married young because we have friends that were married far younger than we were. We felt like we were both completely educated and mature enough to enter into this next phase of our lives. When we first got married we weren't ready to have children financially. But, over the past year we have seriously considered if we will ever be really ready. Is there ever a good time? Will we have have enough stability to have a child? Is it really up to us or is it up to God? We have decided that ultimately it is up to God. Why should we stand in the way?

Our faith has always been important to us. We both attended Catholic school from Kindergarten through college. We were raised in faith filled homes. (To give you a reference point, my brother is studying to be a priest in Rome.)  We were told when we put our names into the lottery for the retreat (where we ultimately met) that if we were picked, we were picked for a reason. Clearly, God brought us together. While we were dating, we attended church with my family in the church where I grew up. When we visit other places, we made it a point to attend church wherever we were. We are grateful that God brought us together and has blessed us with so much. When it came time to plan our wedding, we were definitely getting married in a Roman Catholic church.

Our Pre-Cana experience left much to be desired. We had had many conversations with one another about all of the “important things”. We had never considered NFP prior to Pre-Cana but, unfortunately our class leaders just popped in a video and that was the only exposure that we had to it. Just before getting married, we did a lot of research and decided that this was the way we were going to go. I only knew one other person who went that route and she was a great support. Recently, we decided that there was no longer a reason to postpone pregnancy and became open to life.

While we are young, we know that there is an appointed time for everything and God will decide what path we will take.

Update: Liz and her husband indeed were open to life and are expecting their first child in May 2011!  God is good!

You can read more about Liz at Tales From Astoria where she blogs about life as newlyweds in NY, when she's not working as a teacher at a Christian school.  

Please check out the other posts (including some great guest posts) in my On Marrying Young series.