Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Baby on a Budget Guest Post: Elimination Communication

Elimination communication (EC) was something I heard about frequently while I was pregnant, and while I was very interested in trying it, I was so overwhelmed with everything else that came with preparing for motherhood that I didn't get a chance to look into it further.  Then Amanda of Making Memories emailed me about writing a guest post for my Baby on a Budget series about EC!  I hadn't even thought of it in terms of saving money, but that just gives me one more reason to try it out.  I hope you learn as much as I did, or if you already use EC, I hope you will comment with your experiences.  Thank so much, Amanda!

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I first heard about elimination communication, also known as natural infant hygiene, when my second son, Joshua, was a newborn. Not coincidentally, I was in the process of helping my firstborn, Gabriel (two years old), learn to use the toilet. With Gabriel, learning to use the toilet was a learned habit. After twenty months in diapers, learning to do something else did not come very easily to him. There was a large amount of time invested in the process, cajoling, and some bribery (in the form of M&Ms) as well as frustration. Learning about elimination communication at that time made me realize that we needed to try something different with Joshua. In Gabriel's case, waiting to introduce the toilet with the signs of "readiness" had been too late to begin the learning process. I knew that there must be a better way, and elimination communication was our answer. Since about half of the world's babies, mostly in Asia and Africa, never use diapers, and they are essentially "potty trained" by the time they are a year old, I knew that elimination communication must work. Additionally, based on the problems that I had run into with Gabriel during potty training, elimination communication made sense to me.

For those unfamiliar with the term, elimination communication is defined by Diaper Free Baby as "a gentle, natural, non-coercive process by which a baby... learns with the loving assistance of parents and caregivers to communicate about and address his or her elimination needs." Additionally, I think that it is important to mention that elimination communication is not an "all or nothing" endeavor. Parents and caregivers of babies can use whatever clothing and diapering system works best for them in conjunction with elimination communication, in order to reach the goal of communicating with their child about his or her elimination needs without causing stress to either party.

The Benefits of Elimination Communication include:
  • Good for baby's health (the less time babies spend in diapers, the lower the incidence of a diaper rash occurring)
  • Supports breastfeeding (breastfeeding mothers are not really sure how much breast milk their babies are getting, but elimination communication provides a clear indicator)
  • Good for the environment (fewer disposable diapers in landfills, fewer loads of cloth diapers being washed)
  • Encourages child development (communicating needs with parents)
  • Economical (diapers are a large portion of the baby budget, while elimination communication is nearly free)
  • Avoid struggles sometimes associated with diaper changes and toilet training (one of the primary motivators for our family)
Thus, I began elimination communication with my four month old. At first, I only sat Joshua on his tiny, Baby Bjorn Potty after naps and eating, but I was surprised by how often I was able to make "catches." Since the only rooms in my home that are not carpeted are the bathrooms, I kept Joshua in a cotton cloth diaper, so that he could feel the wetness and I could easily tell when he was wet, most of the time for the first year. We went through several months without any real advancement, but Joshua was always happy to sit on the potty and understood how to use it, which, along with earlier potty training, was my primary goal in using elimination communication. There was no bribery, no period of apprehension over using the toilet, etc. It was wonderful. The day that I knew elimination communication was really working for us was on a vacation when Joshua was about fifteen months old. We were preparing to go swimming in the hotel pool, and instructed Gabriel to sit on the potty before putting on his swim trunks. After his brother finished, unprompted, Joshua climbed on to the potty and used it. When we came back from the pool an hour later, Joshua again sat himself on the potty and used it. It was so rewarding to see that the relatively small amount of time invested in elimination communication was paying off so well. At fifteen months, Gabriel had never been introduced to a toilet, yet Joshua knew exactly how to use it without being instructed to do so.

Around twenty-one months, Joshua reached a point at which he would immediately remove his wet diaper himself, even if it was under clothing. Oftentimes, he would remove his diaper before it was wet as well, because he realized that he needed to use the toilet. Though I realize that we probably could have stopped using diapers at home before this time if I had decided to take a more active approach, elimination communication is really about what works best for a particular family, so Joshua started going without a diaper when it became clear that he recognized his elimination needs without me needing to be particularly involved in helping him remove clothing, get to the toilet, etc. There were only had a couple of misses before Joshua was, without any coaching, taking himself to the potty and returning when he had finished. All of this was in sharp contrast to Gabriel, who, though he had worn cloth diapers (mostly stay dry fabrics, which did not allow him to feel much wetness), never felt the need to seek the toilet if he was wearing a diaper, and required many months of reminders to reach the point of no misses and independence after he began learning to use the potty. While I recognize that my sons are two individuals and Joshua was likely to have learned to use the toilet earlier than Gabriel due to parental experience and his older brother's example, I still credit the combination of elimination communication and cotton cloth diapers with assisting in earlier and easier potty learning for Joshua. The average age that a child is considered daytime potty trained in the United States is around age three. Gabriel was average in this respect, but Joshua was about a year earlier than the US average. I feel that it is important to mention that we are not completely out of diapers at this time, as Joshua (twenty-seven months old at writing) still uses cloth training pants when we are away from home and at night, since we do not expect to see consistent night time dryness until he is three or older.

Aside from earlier and easier potty training, the other major benefit of elimination communication that a family experiences is cost savings. The cost of diapering can vary drastically from family to family, so I am going to base my calculations on my own experience, found in a blog post that I wrote on my blog in 2010. I wish that I had saved the exact calculations, but I determined that between the cost of detergent and energy to run my washer and dryer, a load of cloth diaper laundry costs my family about $1.00. If a family washes cloth diapers every two days, they would save about $180 on laundry alone by potty training their child a year earlier. A family that starts elimination communication part-time in the beginning of their baby's life, and uses cloth diapers the rest of the time, could stretch diaper laundry out by an extra day, which would save about $120 per year in laundry costs. While $100-$200 per year (or possibly more if elimination communication is used in conjunction with disposable diapers) may not seem like much savings, if a family is trying to raise their baby on a tight budget, that money would be enough to pay at least one month of the average monthly energy bill in the United States. A family that forgoes diapers altogether in favor of full-time elimination communication would be saving themselves the cost of diapers and associated costs, which could be greater than $2,000 over the period of time that their child would have spent in diapers.

I hope that this post has been informative, and that it will help other parents consider elimination communication. As you can see, elimination communication may take whatever form works for each individual family, and families will be reap many benefits by taking an active approach in helping their babies learn to communicate about their elimination needs from an early age. If you are interested in more information on elimination communication, the following are resources that I found helpful:


Amanda is a wife and mother of two young boys. She enjoys reading, writing, saving money, spending time with her family, and practicing her Catholic faith. Amanda blogs at Making Memories.










Please check out the other posts (including some great guest posts) in my Baby on a Budget series.  

    Sunday, February 5, 2012

    My Two Month Old

    My baby girl is two months old today!  It's hard to believe that she's the same little girl she was at one month, much less at birth.  This month has been full of new experiences for both mama and baby!

    Lucia has really started to interact with the world around her.  She loves to look around and spends long periods of time staring at the different objects in the room.  She especially loves to stare at the crucifix, both the one above our bed and the one above her crib. I've heard that babies and young children are more sensitive to the spiritual and I absolutely believe it. She also spends considerable time on her play mat just staring at the toys above her.  She loves when I hold up her toys for her and shake her rattles.  I wouldn't have thought it was possible for a baby so young to have a favorite toy, but she definitely does: a little rattle in the shape of a bear, probably the most simplistic and classic of all her toys.

     She is also much more reactive to noise.  When I speak to her while she's crying, she'll often stop crying and look toward me.  She used to be able to sleep through anything, but now loud noises wake her (and she is so mad when she's awakened!).

    Lulu has become quite the smiler.  She loves smiling back when people smile at her.  My favorite time with her is in the morning. When she first wakes up she smiles these big open mouthed smiles, makes sweet baby noises, and turns her head from side to side checking out her surroundings.  She's the happiest in the morning, so this is the time we get the most bonding and play in.

    And she talks.  Boy, can she talk.  She's talking up a storm!  In fact, in this household we hear much more baby babble than we do crying.  She's overall a very content baby and continues to only cry when she wants something specific: to nurse, a diaper change, or a nap.  The last one is something new; she used to just fall asleep when tired, but now she just gets grouchy and needs some help getting to sleep.  I'll rock her to sleep or put her in her swing and she's out pretty quickly.

    Speaking of sleep, my big girl has started sleeping in her crib.  She's been sleeping the night through for the past couple weeks, but earlier this week she kept waking us up making noises (in her sleep) throughout the night.  So it was time.  Three nights ago was the first time in her crib and I was up all night worried about her.  But she was amazing and didn't wake up until morning!  I miss having her in the bed with us, but it seems that she sleeps much better in her own crib as well.

    All that sleeping must be doing her good because she has also grown so strong.  She has very good neck control and can lift herself up quite high during tummy time.  Oh, how she loves tummy time!  (As long as she is in a good mood when she started!)  I love it too, getting down on the floor with her, talking with her, and making eye contact while she shows off her new strong muscles.  

    I can tell Lucia is going to be a daddy's girl.  She just adores her daddy (and he adores her!).  The time they spend cuddling on the couch every afternoon after daddy gets home from work is priceless.  Is there anything more beautiful than seeing a father and daughter bonding?

    Is it strange that every time I see her I still consciously think that's she just so beautiful and can't believe that she's mine?  I am incredibly blessed to be a mama to this little one!




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    To catch up on Lucia's monthly posts, click below:

    Thursday, February 2, 2012

    7 Quick Takes Friday (Take 45)


    --- 1 ---


    My mother was diagnosed with thyroid cancer two years ago.  She had her thyroid removed and radiation and was pronounced cancer free a few months later.  Since then, she goes in every six months for a cancer screening and about a month ago, her results came back abnormal.  She had a PET scan on Wednesday to follow up and her doctor asked her to come in first thing this morning about the results.  Needless to say, that’s not a good sign (especially since it usually takes her three months to get an appointment).  Would you please pray for her? 

    --- 2 ---


    I wrote a post earlier this week about my experiences using birth control.  It was written as the response to an weekly debate about whether parents should provide birth control for their daughters.  I’d love if you would not only read my post, but write your own response and link it up at Friendly Debates with the Danielles.

    --- 3 ---


    David just applied for a post doc fellowship in Colorado.  My fingers are crossed because we so badly want to move back near our families, but I know that might not be God’s plan for us right now.  The only other fellowship he’s applied for has been here in Raleigh, and I wouldn’t mind a few more years here to explore the Southeast.  Raleigh’s been pretty good to us so far.

    --- 4 ---


    Two reasons I’m grateful for living in Raleigh right now: the amazing weather and the hilly terrain.  It was in the 70s the past two days and in the 60s for at least the week prior and I’ve taken Lucia on a walk everyday.  Why the gratitude for the hilly terrain?  Because those walks are serious workouts and on the days I’ve gone on hour and a half walks, no need to go to the gym in the evenings. 

    --- 5 ---



    Speaking of walks, nothing makes me feel like a member of the “mommy club” than pushing strollers side by side with another mom.  (Especially while discussing our babies’ bowel movements). 

    --- 6 ---


    I had a guest post published the other day at the Cloth Diaper Whisperer about how cloth diapering was much easier than I thought it would be.  If you are thinking of cloth diapering, it’s probably not as difficult as you think (that is, once you pick what kind of diapers you want to use, all the possible diaper options are overwhelming!).

    --- 7 ---


    Lucia is going to be two months old on Sunday!  She is getting so big and so strong.  Here’s a picture of her showing off her strong neck muscles during tummy time:



    Thanks Hallie for hosting this week at Betty Beguiles!

    Guest Post at the Cloth Diaper Whisperer: Wasting Time Worrying

    I have a guest post today over at The Cloth Diaper Whisperer about how cloth diapering was much easier than I imagined it would be:

    I don’t remember what initially attracted my interest in cloth diapers, but there were three reasons that my husband and I eventually decided to use them: to save money, to be environmentally friendly, and to avoid the chemicals in disposable diapers.  We certainly didn’t choose cloth diapers because we thought they would be easy.  In fact, in the last weeks and months of my pregnancy, as I purchased and prepped our cloth diapers, I was simultaneously preparing myself mentally for the difficulties I would encounter: the relentless laundry, the leaky diapers, the messy, multi-step diaper changes (we decided to use prefolds and fitted diapers with diaper covers).  I constantly had to remind myself that the benefits of cloth diapers would outweigh these difficulties...continue reading at The Cloth Diaper Whisperer

    (If that's not enough motivation, there are some cute pictures of Lucia in it!).  


    If you are checking out my blog for the first time from my guest post, I hope you'll stay and have a look around!  I blog about many topics including marriage, motherhood, learning to keep house, and my Catholic faith.  You may also be interested in my recent post about cloth diapering our newborn.




    Wednesday, February 1, 2012

    Bridesmaid Style Board 1: Shoes

    As I mentioned in my Quick Takes last week, I'm going to be a bridesmaid this summer for my future sister-in-law (my brother-in-law's fiancee).  She is letting the bridesmaids (all 13 of us!) pick our own dresses and shoes within the "rustic chic" theme of their wedding. While I appreciate that each of us can pick something that fits our body type and style so we look good and will be able to wear it again, I am infinitely indecisive (which drives my husband crazy) and I don't have a whole lot of fashion sense (no wonder this is one of the first fashion posts I'm writing).  I don't think I ever leave the house looking ridiculous, but I certainly don't put together creative ensembles that could be considered "stylish".  So I need your help!  I'm putting together some style boards of dresses, heels (for the ceremony), and cowboy boots (for the reception) and I'm looking for advice to narrow down the options.

    This post is all about heels.  (Don't forget to visit the bridesmaid dress style board for dress ideas!) The only guidance the bride gave on shoes for the church is that they should be nude heels.  That leaves the options wide open.  I have to admit that I am really excited about this because it gives me an excuse to buy heels that could potentially be reworn quite a bit and, if I'm not mistaken, it seems that nude heels are currently in style.


    Here is my style board of nude pumps:


    1. Waleo in Nude Patent, Jessica Simpson ($89.99) 2. Francesca in Nude Patent, Jessica Simpson ($69.90) 3. Doyscher in Bone, Aldo ($49.99) 4. Calie in Nude Patent, Jessica Simpson ($79.99) 5. New Love in Nude Patent, Chinese Laundry (68.95) 6. Loveme Pump in Nude Suede, Michael Antonio ($44.99)


    And some more "fun" options:


    1. Haylow in Blush, Steve Madden ($59.49) 2. Aveline in Latte Satin, rsvp ($23.70) 3. Halie in Nude Patent, Jessica Simpson ($88.95) 4. Eileen in Taupe, Fergalicious ($30.99) 5. Mona in Nude Patent, Fergalicious ($35.99) 6. Neutral-35 Velvet Peep Toe Pump in Nude, Qupid ($23.60) 7. Traffic Jam in Nude Patent, Chinese Laundry ($67.49) 8. Endo in Nude Patent, Jessica Simpson ($67.99)


    Did you notice a common theme here?  Who knew Jessica Simpson made such gorgeous shoes?


    They are only for the ceremony so comfort isn't necessarily a must, other than I would like a pair that I can rewear often.  I currently rarely wear heals except for special occasions, but I'd really like to make them more of a staple in my wardrobe (if you remember, I'm looking to create a more "grown-up" wardrobe).

    Any ideas/advice for narrowing these down? Have you had any experience with these brands/similar shoes?  Which ones do you think I can rewear most often?

    Don't forget to check out my bridesmaid dress style board too!