Monday, May 16, 2011

Council of Dads

I recently read the book Council of Dads by Bruce Feiler.  The author was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer when his twin girls were only three years old and he created a "council" of men who could step in and play the role of father for his daughters if he were to pass away.  They were men that represented various aspects of his life and various stages of his life - his childhood best friend, his camp counselor, and his agent, just to name a few (there were six total).  The idea was that if his daughters needed advice or wanted to know "What would dad think about this?", these men could be his voice.  I highly recommend the book.

It made me start to think, "Do I have people who could do this for me if I ever needed it?"  I, admittedly, have very few friends.  This is by choice.  I find it more fulfilling to have a few close friends that actually care about me and are willing to put the effort into the friendship than have many friends that are constantly draining me of my time and energy without any reciprocation or benefit.  I've cut out a lot of deadweight friends in the last few years, and I am much happier for it.  I am young and Bruce Feiler was in his early 40s, so he had much more time to create these friendships.  But I still felt sad thinking that I only have two close friends that I could rely on in hard times.  And really, these women, while amazing, beautiful women, don't have much in common with me other than the city we grew up in and the schools we attended.

While thinking of friendship, I starting thinking of the move that my husband and I are making in July.  I moved here last July and since being here, I have made one friend that I think had the potential to become a good friend.  But we are moving soon, and I have a feeling that since we haven't had much time to really cultivate a friendship, we probably will quickly lose touch.  We'll probably live in North Carolina only a year as well, and so I will once again put off making lasting friendships.  I think that's what I lament most about the upcoming move, not being in one place long enough to make friendships.

My husband is my best friend.  It sound corny, but it's very true.  I tell him everything, I enjoy spending hours upon end with him, we have a lot in common (although personality-wise, we are quite the opposite).  I will always have him with me, no matter where we move.  But friendships with other women are very important to me, as well.  I've written blogs about friendship before (I know, I'm a whiner!) and I'm sure this won't be the last of them.

But this also makes me curious about your friendships: Who would you have on your Council of Moms/Dads if, God forbid, you had to make one?  How did you meet your best friends?  Do you still keep in contact with friends from different periods of your life (childhood, teen years, college, your 20s, etc.)?  What is the best way to make new friends?

No comments:

Post a Comment

I'd love to hear what you have to say! You can also contact me directly by emailing me at