7 Quick Takes Friday (92)

--- 1 ---

How to Talk to Little Girls.  I've noticed that many adults (myself included) that come into contact with Lucia focus on her appearance.  "She's so cute."  It's true, but I want my daughter to be valued for her mind, for her compassion, for her love of Christ.  She might not always be cute, she most likely will have those odd, gangly, awkward in-between years and I want her to know that that's ok.  That her worth has nothing to do with her appearance.  I loved this example about how to talk to little girls without mentioning looks or beauty or style, not even once!  It's really difficult and requires a lot of thought and effort, but it's so worth it.  This is definitely something we'll be working on in our home.

--- 2 ---

Worse End of the School Year Mom Ever.  I'm sure you've read this by now, I've seen it referenced on a million blogs and tweeted/facebooked probably a million and a half times, but if you haven't taken a look, read it.  And I have to say, as a teacher we feel fairly similar.  By the end of the year, my lesson plans weren't quite what they were in the beginning of the year and there wasn't an adorable worksheet to be seen.  You're making your own worksheet out of notebook paper, kid, and then you're going to grade your own. 
 

--- 3 ---

Please pray for Dwija and her baby.  Long story short, she's have serious pregnancy complications.  If you want to read more details, here's her most recent post.  Be warned, it brought me to tears.

 

--- 4 ---

I am still sick! Not quite as sick as I was when I wrote this post, but still not in fully functioning mode.  David has to go to work today at 1 and I'll most likely be home with the toddler until nearly 7 because both my mom and dad have had to work late quite a bit recently.  I really hope that I'm feeling miraculously better by the time you read this.  I cannot express enough how out of character this is for me.  Usually I feel a little "icky" but am still able to do everything while sick.  Every once in a while I'll have one day of really nasty sickness but it never lasts more than 48 hours before I'm back to 99% functioning.  I got this junk from Lucia and she felt better after about two days.  I'm going on day five of feeling pretty-close-but-not-quite-death. 

--- 5 ---

Speaking of sickness, David made a pretty astute observation the other day: we have pretty much the opposite immune systems.  We never get the same sicknesses.  We must have gotten opposite illnesses as children, but it works out well because we'd be a mess if both of us (or all three of us!) were sick at the same time.  I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have David getting me water and tea and chocolate (What? It's a nasty cold, not a stomach thing!), and giving me massages and piling on blankets only to strip them off me fifteen minutes later.  And last fall when he got the stomach flu of death?  There is no way I could have taken care of him if I had been in the state he was and he was in need of some TLC badly.

--- 6 ---

My brother is dating this super sweet girl.  They are pretty young (she just turned 18) and have several years of school ahead of them, but I kind of really hope she ends up being his "one".  If for no other reason than I'm imagining Lulu is sweet flower girl dresses.  Getting ahead of myself a bit? 

--- 7 ---

Two years ago, our first move to Raleigh. I was five months pregnant. This time we have a toddler but no furniture so it evens out.

David was offered a job this week.  He accepted yesterday.  So happy he has a job.  So sad that means we'll be moving far away from family.  More details here.  I'm going to be taking a blogging break of at least two weeks surrounding the move, so if you're interested in guest posting, send me an email to messywifeblessedlife@gmail.com.  I'll need any guest post submissions by mid-July so I can get them all scheduled and ready for the move.  Any topic is fair game, even if it's not something you regularly see on this blog, in fact, I'm sure my readers would prefer some variety.  I'm pretty much a one-trick pony.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Blowin' in the Wind

On Monday morning, David was cooking breakfast for us when he suggested that I get my copy of the Magnificat and we say the morning prayer together.  I'd love to say this was a daily thing for us, but this may be the first time since my subscription started last month that we even thought about it.  We had just barely started when he received a phone call with some very interesting news...

He's been offered a job to teach science at a Catholic high school!  

We are so beyond thrilled.  I had initially planned to put off sharing the news on the blog until he had his contract all signed and sent in, but I just couldn't wait any longer.  After all, if it weren't for this blog, he wouldn't have been offered the job at all!  I'm serious!  A sweet, sweet blog reader was the one who told me about this potential job.  When I started my blog nearly three years ago, I never imagined that anyone would ever read it, much less help my husband find a job after a year+ job search.  We've also felt all the prayers from all of you who have joined us in praying that this day would come.  Thank you!

I'm going to ask for some additional prayers though as we prepare for this move.  Oh wait, I haven't told you where his job is!  It's in Raleigh.  We'll be headed back a year to the month after we left.  We'll be moving late next month, making it the fourth July in a row of out of state moves.  I know some of you in the military/married to the military do this often and you have my utmost respect.  Moving is never fun.  It's always hard, but this one is the hardest so far.  I moved away from family and friends when I got married 3 years ago, but this time we're moving Lucia away from her grandparents, great grandparents, uncles, aunts, and her unborn cousin.  

We had really hoped that when David did find a job, it would be nearby, but we knew that the likelihood was that it would be elsewhere.  And I'm so grateful that if we have to be moving away from family that it's to Raleigh.  We have friends there.  We know the area.  We love the weather.  We have a dentist and a pediatrician for Lucia.  We can have future babies in the birth center where Lucia was born.  My all-time favorite grocery store is there (Harris Teeter, y'all!).  We made a life there once before and I know we can again.   

David has been toying with the idea of making a career out of teaching and now is his chance to make it a go.  We know that it will never be much money and that finances will continue to be tight.  But we'll make it work.  I've been thinking about whether I'll be looking for a job or not and I'm not quite sure.  I'll apply for a teaching license again (why didn't I listen to that little voice in the back of my head that was telling me I should have just renewed it?) and apply to sub in Wake County.  Unfortunately many jobs don't pay enough for me to bring home anything after paying for daycare and gas.  And truth be told, I'd rather be home with my toddler anyway.  I think I'm going to have to take a more creative approach to finding a job/earning a little extra money from home or on the evenings/weekends.  

You may have already noticed that I've had more sponsored posts than usual on the blog.  I try to keep sponsored posts/giveaways/reviews to once a week but as long as the topic is something that I can write personally about, I just can't turn down these kind of posts right now.  I hope you understand.  In turn, I absolutely understand if you skip these kind of posts.  But I guarantee that those posts are as genuine as any I write.  I always tie in personal stories or experiences and if you skip those posts, you may miss out on some of our goings-on around here (not that those are super exciting or your life will feel completely incomplete if you don't know about Lucia's latest potty training adventures).

So, here we go, the Messy family on another messy life adventure... but we're together and we know that wherever we go, our God is with us.  Here, we go, blowin' in the wind.  Yet again...

Being Sick While Caring for your Toddler {Hell}

I feel/look like the adult version of this but am too vain don't want to scare you so you shall not see a real picture of me.

So, this blog post topic seems to make the internet rounds now and again.  Just about every blogging mother of a toddler writes about it at one time.  I've read them all, with a a little grin on my face at their obvious "exaggeration".  Ha ha, sorry y'all.  Now realize that, if anything,  you were severely under exaggerating.  Let me explain.

Lucia has been sick.  One of those sicknesses that is nothing more than a cold, but you're absolutely certain that this is the kind of cold that may kill a person.  On Monday afternoon, I began to feel it creeping into my neck and I just knew I was in for something awful.  David was at work, but I miraculously survived because Lucia was still feeling the crud and was thus a bit lethargic like me and I was able to interest her with a little Mickey Mouse a la español.  About 9pm Monday night hit and I knew that Tuesday was going to be my worst day ever as a mother (just sign me up as a fortune teller, because I predicted that future like a pro).  I was getting sicker and getting sicker fast.  Achy body, nose that leaked like a faucet, head in a vice, all those goodies.  So obviously, I got about 60 minutes sleep total, spread out throughout the night in about 3 minute increments.  

Enter morning.  Despite a leaky nose and spontaneous coughing fits, Lucia no longer realized she was sick.  Which meant she was in high destruction mode to make up for the relatively benign days that preceded.  I was failing and failing fast.  All I wanted was sleep, but if I closed my eyes for a moment, there would be a tongue in a wall socket, I just knew it. The only way I made it through the morning was by lying on the couch and throwing lots of these at my feral toddler:

And these:

I was sent these to review and is it too overdramatic to call these "the only thing standing between me and imminent death"?  I was also able to spend three hours recently at a coffee shop with a friend with Lucia on her best behavior due to four packets of these babies.  I've tasted them myself and while I wouldn't sit and eat packages, I definitely think they taste like real food unlike a lot of "toddler" grub.  

Anyway, back to my death day.  Thinking logically, I realize that I only spent two hours with Lucia before putting her down for a nap.  It felt more like two millenia.  It really did work out perfectly though.  David worked an early morning and the nap was timed perfectly so he should get home before she woke up.  He called to ask if he could work a half hour late and all I could think is, "Dude doesn't get it!"  I'm rarely sick and when I am, it's usually no big deal and I go on with my life like nothing's different but this time was different and he should know that if I'm actually real-life complaining then I must be near dying.  Anyway, I think he did eventually get it because he ended up leaving about 15 minutes early.

You would think I would have been in the clear once Lucia went down for a nap, but it's at that moment when I no longer had to care for anyone that the full force of the sickness and lack of sleep hit me.  If you don't believe that I was very close to the end of life, peruse this email that I sent David:

If tu get this befor you leave can tu bring me delicious tea wtb hm y. Herbal not caffeinated pleas. Lu Pi is sleeping I am on bed. Need ibuprofen and water and a massage when you yet home. Very dire situwtion. Need love too. Donzt tarry long.

Unfortunately, he did not get this before he left work and got me a caffeinated tea which definitely would not help my sleep deprived state.  I proceeded to wail, and cry, and gnash my teeth when he told me this and was quite certain that he needed to call an ambulance to come pick me up.  At about this point of the conversation (he's driving home), I hear my toddler, who should still be sleeping, screaming.  I'm torn.  Do I go get her, knowing full well that I cannot even stand before dizziness ensues and I fall on my face?  Or do I wait the five minutes until David gets home to get her.  I imagine her somehow having put her head through the bars of the crib and them smooshing together until she has suffocated/been decapitated.  (Why do I picture the trash compactor in a Star Wars movie?) Although it is obvious that this hasn't happened yet because she can still wail just fine.  

David gets home, he gets Lucia (screaming = pooped), piles mountains of blankets upon me, puts sweatpants and socks on my chilled body, gets me warm Cream of Rice, ibuprofen, and massages my neck.  I sleep for a half an hour, wake up feeling MUCH better (and very, very hot), I lay downstairs on the coach, we attempt to watch the first episode of Downton Abbey but get interrupted and never get past minute 17.  I wallow in pity, and then, here I am.  The day is over.  I survived.  Not quite sure how, but I did.

Thank goodness David is off tomorrow except for a short tutoring stint.  I'm quite convinced that I'll be up to par by Thursday and this day will be a long lost memory. 

I know, I know what you're thinking.  I'm a whiner.  Yep. totally.  But today was hard.  I have no idea how I could do this with more children or several days in a row or pregnant.  Ugh.  99% of the time I think that I'm much more cut out to be a SAHM than a working mom, but not with sickness.  Totally wished I could have stayed home today but had David shuttle Lulu off to daycare. 

A while back I wrote a post titled What Parenting a Sick Baby Taught Me About the Heart of God.  Not quite sure what the lesson of this is.  Maybe, How Parenting a Toddler While I'm Really, Really, Horribly Sick Showed Me that I'm Capable of Entertaining Her with Food and Leaving Her Poopy in Her Crib.  Has a ring to it, doesn't it?

#spon: I'm required to disclose a relationship between our site and Sprout Foods. This could include the Sprout Foods providing us w/ content, product, access or other forms of payment. Check out the new Sprout Foods website at www.sproutorganicfoods.com.

Baby on a Budget: Couponing for Baby

It's been a while since there has been a new post in my Baby on a Budget series.  A while back, Beth Anne wrote the Top 10 Couponing Tips for Beginners for this series but I've been wanting to address baby specific coupons for a while.  The truth is, even if you've never used coupons before, it may be worth it to start using them on baby products.

I wouldn't exactly call myself a "couponer".  The truth is, much of what we buy doesn't regularly have coupons.  Produce, fresh meats and other "whole" foods are often on sale, but don't often have coupons available.  Every once in a while, some of these coupons will crop up, especially the personalized coupons our grocery store sends us based on the products we buy (tracked by our customer loyalty card).  We do, however, often use coupons on toiletries and baby products

When I got pregnant, I was instantly amazed by how many coupons there are for baby products, everything from lotions to diapers to sippy cups and even popular toys.  I hadn't really been looking for them before, but once I did, they were everywhere.

Here are my favorite places to find baby coupons:

• gift registry goodie bags: If you create a baby registry at a store, you usually get a "gift bag" of some kind.  (If you register online, you can usually go to the customer service desk next time you are in store and pick one up.)  My favorite thing about these coupons is that many of them were store coupons, which could be combined with manufacturer coupons (and a sale!) for a really, really good price. 

• store booklets/magazines/pamphlets: Some stores have their own little magazines with articles and coupons in it.  Others have specific "coupon books".  Check/ask if your stores have these.  The two stores I'm specifically thinking of that have these are Walgreens and Babies R Us. Some of the coupons in there are bomb and they are often store coupons (see tips below on how to get the best deals with these).

• magazines: You'll see free subscriptions for baby/parenting magazines offered to you.  Read the fine print carefully, but if they are indeed free (many of them truly are), order them!  I used to get these magazines just to flip through the pages and cut out the coupons.  This is where I got some for $5 off a $15 purchase on Babyganics products (which I combined with a buy one, get one free sale - see below) and that coupon alone made getting the magazine worth it.  

• register with baby companies: A lot of baby companies have programs you can sign up with to get sent coupons or earn points toward them.  Many formula companies have them, as well as disposable diaper companies and other companies with baby-geared products, like Playtex. 

• company website: Other companies, like Johnson's baby line,  may not have registration programs, but still have coupons on their websites.  If there is something you are looking to buy, check out the websites of companies that sell it and look for a tab or button that says "coupons", "promotions", or "deals".

• newspaper: There is usually a coupon or two in those weekly coupon inserts in the newspaper.  For me, paying for a Sunday newspaper is worth the coupons you'll get in there (not just the baby ones but others).  

• baby deal websites: There are several baby deal websites out there that will direct you to places to print coupons and as a bonus, they often will let you know about sales in your local stores that you can combine them with in order to get the best prices possible.  One of my favorites is Baby Savers.

• Swagbucks: Swagbucks is a "rewards site" where you can earn points for doing certain activities and then redeem those for prizes/gift cards.  One of the ways you can earn points is by printing out coupons and using them in store.  That's right - you save money by using coupons and also "earn" money by using them as well.  You can read my more detailed post on Swagbucks here.

• store website: Stores like Target and Walmart have printable coupons on their website (scroll to the menus on the very bottom of the webpage and look for "coupons".  Grocery stores often have online coupons that you can load straight to your store loyalty card as well. 

Note: When you print coupons online, you cannot copy them; that is considered fraud.  You can usually print two copies of each coupon from a single computer.  (When you get the "coupon printer" and it says the coupons are done printing, press the "back" button and they should print again.  You can only do this once.)  Then you will be locked out. If you have multiple computers at home, access to a computer at work, etc. you can print two more on each computer.  I used to have David print coupons for me from his school computer when he was in grad school. 

How to get the most out of your coupons:

• organize them: I like using the small expandable plastic organizers that you can get at the dollar store.  Label each section with a category of baby items like "diapers", "feeding", and "clothes".  Go through your coupons maybe once a month to clear out the expired ones.

• combine them: There is a difference between store coupons and manufacturer coupons.  They function separately and you can combine them for even bigger savings.  Most coupons say "store coupon" or "manufacturer coupon" on them. 

• wait for sales:  If your coupon doesn't expire right away and you don't need the item immediately, it's worth it to wait and see if the item will go on sale.  Babies R Us seems to have sales on their toiletries come up regularly, so it's worth it to save those Johnson's baby or BabyGanics coupons for when they are are on sale buy one, get one free or buy two, get one free.  Again, there are a ton of blogs that match up coupons and sales for you.  Many of them are regional so Google "(your city/state) coupon match ups" to find a website that will have the deals for your local stores.

Note: At most stores, you can use coupons for each item even if they are buy one, get one free!)   

Example of combining coupons/sales: When I was pregnant with Lulu, I got several Babies R Us store coupons for $1.50 off Johnson's Natural baby products with my registry gift bag.  I also found $1.50 off printable manufacturer coupons online.  It also happened that Babies R Us was having a buy two, get one free sale.  I bought three Johnson's Natural products at $4.99 each, used three $1.50 off store coupons, and three $1.50 off manufacturer coupons.  The total before tax was $0.98. ($4.99 x 2 (third one was free) = $9.98; $1.50 off x 6 = $9.00 off; $9.98-$9.00 = $0.98)  Amazing, right?

• clip out coupons you don't think you'll use:  Even if it's not a brand you usually use, it's worth it to have coupons with you in case something is on sale or clearance.  The only question I ask myself to decide whether I'll take the time to clip/print a coupon and file it away is, "Would I get this product if it were free?"  For many junk food items, the answer is no, but for most baby items, the answer is "yes" - even if I don't need them, I can always give items as gifts or donate them.  Charities always need diapers and baby items to distribute to women in crisis pregnancies, poverty, or living in women's shelters.  If there is the right sale or you stumble upon the right clearance rack, those items may very well end up free.

• look for clearances: Know where the "clearance section" is in every store you regularly shop.  For example, at my grocery store, it's in the back near the eggs.  In my local Target, there are several throughout the store; I know the baby one is on end caps near the cleaning supplies.  You can use coupons for items on clearance and you'll never know what will be on clearance.  This is why I advise you keep coupons that you think you may not use.  I've come across several items in the last few years (usually toiletries such as makeup or deodorant, but sometimes diapers/wipes) that were on the clearance rack for a fraction of the regular price and with a coupon were 90% off or more.  Deals like that are worth stocking up on (my husband currently has enough deodorant to last him at least a year that I spent less than $5 on total).

Note: Check baby clearances after holidays (especially Christmas/Easter) and the end of seasons with the intention to stock up on clothes/items for the following year.  

• don't spend more time than you have: If you don't have much time to coupon, do what you can.   This school year I was overwhelmed with being a first year teacher and working mom for the first time so I used very few coupons. During school breaks, I was able to devote some time to it.  This is not an all-or-nothing kind of thing.  You don't have to be an extreme couponer, it's ok to use only one coupon for $0.50 on a shopping trip! That's still saving money! If you did that two times a week for a year, you would still have $52 more dollars in your bank account - that's a nice dinner out or a mani/pedi!  And if you are able to save more than that, even better! 

 Remember! 

store coupon + manufacturer coupon + sale/clearance = 

bomb dot com

If you prefer to shop online, there are a ton of ways to still use coupon codes and deals to get an even better price.  Here are a few of my favorite ways:

•  Use a "cash back" program like Ebates or ShopAtHome.  Here's how these sites work: if you go to the Ebates/ShopAtHome and look up the store you want to shop from, you'll see the percentage cash back you'll get on your purchase.  They work with most big stores.  Enter the store's website through the link on Ebates/ShopAtHome, make your purchase, and your cash back will be deposited into your Ebates/ShopAtHome account and will be sent to you once you get to a certain threshold.  So simple, takes an extra 20 seconds to go to their website first, and can save you a lot, even if you only shop online once in a while.  I am a member of both and always check to see which site has a higher percentage.  ShopAtHome will match 110% if you find more cash back elsewhere, but sometimes there are stores available on Ebates and not ShopAtHome.  The only drawback is that you'll be kicking yourself if you forget to use it on a purchase.

• If you shop at Amazon, there are often Amazon coupons available for baby products.  Check out diaper-coupons.org for updates on the newest diaper coupons available on Amazon (and elsewhere).  This is a great way to take advantage of buying diapers in bulk by adding even more savings.

• Never buy anything without first checking for a coupon code from that store!  I've saved hundreds of dollars by quickly searching for coupon codes to stores before I check out and getting free shipping, a $5 off code, or sometimes even 25% or more off my entire purchase.  One website you can use to search for coupon codes is Me Find Coupon.

Thanks to my sweet friend, Beth Anne, for looking over this post and adding her couponing two cents!

Please check out the other posts (including some great guest posts) in my Baby on a Budget series.  

WIWS: A Wrinkled Shirt Book Proposal

 skirt: MNG Jeans | shirt: LOFT | sandals: LifeStrides via Ross | blue necklace: bought from the Uropeop who live on man made floating islands in Lake Titicaca | heart necklace: inherited | bracelet: birthday gift from Turkey (not a gift from the country, a gift from my best friend bought in Turkey)

I love this shirt, but I rarely wear it because it seems like no matter what I do, it's wrinkled.  In fact, this shirt is the subject of a little children's book I'm thinking of writing.  Here's an excerpt:

On Monday, she took it out of the dryer and hung it up right away, but it was still wrinkled.
On Tuesday, she ironed it, but it was still wrinkled.
On Wednesday, she put in the dryer’s 'de-wrinkle' setting, but it was still wrinkled.

On Thursday, she hung it up in the bathroom and put the shower on full blast, but it was still wrinkled.

On Friday, she ironed it with steam, but it was still wrinkled.

On Saturday, she took it to the dry cleaner to be professionally pressed, but it was still wrinkled.

On Sunday, she wore it anyway, and it was still wrinkled.

What do you think?  Instant hit on my hands?

Hmmm...where to go with this post after that bout of literary genius?  Today was Corpus Christi Sunday.  Lucia was sick, so my mom went to an earlier Mass and stayed home with Lucia while David and I took my grandparents to Mass.  We did a procession following the Blessed Sacrament around the block after Mass and I think my grandparents particularly liked it.

Not that those pictures above are stunning, but I am particularly pleased with them considering they weren't taken before/after Mass, but at 8pm after hours and hours of a sick toddler smearing boogers on me.  Let's just say it was a looooooooooong day.

I'm linking up to Fine Linen and Purple's What I Wore Sunday linkup.  Head over for more church attire inspiration.

And now Grace has a Sunday Best linkup?  You know I have to link up with that one too.  Two birds with one stone, y'all.