On Marrying Young: Some Thoughts

In my earlier post, On Marrying Young, I announced that I’d be writing some posts in the near future on the distinct experiences of couples who married young. When I sat down to sort out my thoughts (and potential future posts) about marrying young, I originally attempted to make a lists of the pros and cons.  But it turns out that it’s not that simple.  Many of the unique situations that my husband and I went through as young newlyweds cannot be categorized as purely negative or positive (is there much in life that is black or white?).  The difficulties encountered by a young couple, if worked through together, only serve to strengthen their marriage in the long run.  So instead of approaching this by writing posts either/or posts on the positives or negatives of marrying young, I’m simply going to discuss some of the situations that I have noticed are distinct to young married couples.

I purposely did not define a specific age that warrants the title “young bride” or “young groom” because I don’t particularly believe there is one.  My husband and I didn’t originally feel like we were marrying young, until other people pointed it out (and until we realized we were one of the first and/or only of our friends who were married).  Since marrying just over a year ago, it has become obvious is certain aspects of our lives that we did indeed marry young.  If you feel like you married young, chances are that you did relevant to your own personal, familial, and societal expectations.

If, like me, you like more set guidelines than “you’ll just know if this applies or not”, you can use statistics on average age at first marriage as your guidelines for deciding whether a couple married young or not.   The national average age at first marriage (according to the most recent statistics) is 26 for women and 28 for men, although this varies quite a bit by region and state.  For example, according to the 2008 American Community Survey, Washington D.C. was the state/territory with the highest average age at first marriage for both men (32) and women (30), while Utah has the lowest average for women (24) and Idaho had the lowest average for men (25).  So a woman who married at age 28 may feel like a “young bride” if she lived in Washington, D.C. or may feel like she is marrying later in Utah.  I personally love statistics (aren’t they fascinating?), if you do too, make sure to read the article where I got these statistics, The States of Marriage and Divorce.

On Marrying Young has been my most commented on post to date (although that’s not saying much) and I hope that my upcoming posts will live up to all your expectations.  If anybody feels like they have something to share on this topic,  I’d love to have you guest post!  I can only write from my experiences and observations, it would be great to have more perspectives to share.  You can contact me through my email found in the “About Mandi” tab above. 



Please check out the other posts (including some great guest posts) in my On Marrying Young series.