On Marrying Young: Someone to Battle Life With

There has been a huge revival in these series recently as I've received many new contributions!  I'm loving it!  The most recent email I received is from Susie, a sweet young wife who recently celebrated her first anniversary.  One of the things I most appreciate about this series is that the women who write from it range from newlyweds to "old pros" and their experiences and circumstances are even more varied. 

__________ 

"Are you pregnant," the boy asked.

Angry, offended, and more than slightly annoyed I informed him I was not. 

That day, one week after I got engaged and two day after  turned 21, I discovered that those outside my "marriage mill" Christian university assumed that a ring on a girl's figure meant an unplanned pregnancy.

But for me, for me it meant that I finally had someone to battle life with.

I lost my father unexpectedly five day before my 16th birthday. That day, I stopped being a child and had to grow into an adult. I was the oldest of eight kids, so I had to figure out life on my own. Just me and God. I found a way to pay for college debt free, buy a car debt free, and be a responsible adult. But it was a struggle to do it all alone, without another human to stand alongside me.

 I started "liking" a boy I'd known my senior year of high school. Nine months later (after high school graduation) we started officially dating. From the beginning, people thought we would work out. There was something about the introverted geeky boy and the extrovert writer girl that promised a bright future for us. 

dating

We talked about marriage from the beginning, planning on getting married once he was done with his first Air Force enlistment. But years of a long distance relationship is exhausting, and we ended up planning on getting married the summer we turned twenty one. 

And get married we did. 

We've been married for thirteen months  and I'm eighteen weeks pregnant with our first child. It's been a phenomenal year. For the first time in my life I have a human partner (God's always been with me) and life seems that much easier with Stephen by my side. 

Getting married "young" can be the best experience, but a person must prepare. Someone who knows how to work hard, how to sacrifice, how to give, and strives to love unconditionally is ready for marriage. Just being in "love" doesn't count. There's so much more to marriage. Stephen and I had made sacrifices in our relationship. We had to work extra hard to communicate and love well because of time zone differences and miles. I knew that, because of my dedication to going to college debt free, I wouldn't be bringing in debt to our marriage. Stephen knew that because he had loved me through years of distance and struggles, he was prepared to love me as a husband loves a wife. 

engaged

Did we know what this year would bring?  No. But we knew we were prepared to share our lives, our passions, and even our bank accounts. 

Both of us had experienced life on our own, and we knew it would be better with each other. With a partner. I love my husband so much more than I did on my wedding day, and I pray a year from now that love with have multiplied again. Neither Stephen nor I believe divorce is an option, so we have a great incentive to work through our trials and better our marriage. We're one another's first loves, so there's no awkward history to deal with. Just the history we created. 

I got married at twenty one and I'm blessed because of it.

married!

Susie is a 22 year old almost college grad, who spends her free time working as a barista, writing, and finding adventure with her high school sweetheart of a husband. She blogs at http://osusannawhathaveyoudone.blogspot.com/ where she writes about paying for college debt free, life in the Air Force, and confessing the idiosyncrasies of a pregnant barista. 

Check out the other posts in the On Marrying Young series here.