Nursing in Church: Yay or Nay?

When I asked for some blog post title suggestions, I only got was "Nursing in the Sanctuary: Yay or Nay?".  (I have been informed that the sanctuary is the part of the church where the altar is and that the area where the congregation sits is the nave but I wouldn't use nave in daily conversation so henceforth we shall simply refer to it as nursing in church, meaning the nave/main area of worship.)  I'm so excited about this topic.  I would have never thought to write a post on this, but it turns out, it's an area where I have a bit of experience and a lot of opinion.

I'm going to start with my beliefs on breastfeeding in public:  I believe that every place women and children are welcome is an appropriate place to nurse a baby.  Babies cannot wait to be fed.  Breastfeeding is feeding a child, simple as that.  It's not a sexual act or a political statement.  

If you feel differently than me about this, then this is not the post for you.  This post will not be addressing breastfeeding in public.  Nor will it discuss whether women should or should not cover while nursing.  If you'd like to debate those topics, there are plenty of online forums, blog posts, articles, etc. that address them specifically; this is not one of those places.  This post will only be addressing nursing in church - whether, in my opinion, it is appropriate to do so in the main worship area or women should leave for the cry room, lobby, or another space to nurse.

Above, I mentioned that it never crossed my mind to write about this topic.  The reason is this: I have never thought about nursing in church as distinct from nursing in any other public location.  Although, when I critically think about nursing in church, I realize that I do act slightly different while nursing there than elsewhere (more on that later).  

I understand why some nursing mothers may be have questions about nursing in church.  We live in a society where breasts are considered first and foremost to be sexual.  I personally believe this to be a bit backward, since the life-giving, nourishing function of the breast is much more important and, in fact, essential to the history and survival of humanity.  But it is what it is and even those who intellectually acknowledge the preeminence of nursing over sexuality have a hard time removing the ingrained ideas of shame and impropriety that come along with thoughts or images of breasts.  So let me use a few images to illustrate the appropriateness of nursing during religious worship:

Leonardo da Vinci, circa 1500

in St. Augustine, FL, circa 1600-1620

anonymous

All these are images of Christ being nourished at the breasts of His Mother.  Historically, we know that Jesus was breastfed.  There was not the option for formula and Christ, being fully human, had the same nutritional needs of all other babies throughout all of time.  But not only was He breastfed, this act was considered to be so important that it is the subject of an entire category of religious art with their own titles, "Maria lactans".  (To see more images see the list of Maria lactans here and this great Pinterest board.)

And where were these paintings/statues displayed?  Perhaps some were commissioned to be hung in private residences (in clear view of guests).  The vast majority were hung in churches.  Pictures in which breastfeeding (and therefore the breast) was plainly, and obviously, depicted were hung in churches!  They were not considered to be immoral, immodest, or improper, but to be a part of worship - holy, religious, faithful. 

Since picture of the Blessed Mother breastfeeding (without a cover!) are displayed on the walls of churches, surely there is no impropriety in nursing your child in the pews.  If women are welcomed in church (as they are) and babies are welcomed in church (as they not always are but always should be), then the natural, God-given method in which women feed their babies should be welcomed in church.

It should go without saying that a mama who is more comfortable nursing in private or whose little one easily gets distracted when nursing with people around, etc. can and should find a quiet place outside the main worship area.  But if she would otherwise nurse in the store or in a waiting room or on a park bench, there is absolutely no reason why she should feel like she should have to leave a church to nurse.  If others in the church have problems with you feeding your child while worshiping God (who Himself was nursed as a baby and, as the Creator of the world and the natural order, created this beautiful and unique way in which mothers feed their children), it's their problem, not yours.  You should not have to stop your religious worship in order to feed your child.

I nursed my daughter for about 17 months.  We didn't nurse in public during the last two months or so (nursing had turned into gymnastics and I was not willing to do that in public), but for those 15 months that we did, I purposely tried to plan nursing during Mass.  Especially as she got older and more active, nursing kept her quiet and fairly still for a chunk of time.  I was especially proud of myself when I was able to strategically nurse during the readings and/or the homily so I could actually hear them.  For a while there, we spent almost the entire Mass in the narthex with our active older baby/toddler, and nursing was the only time when I was able to join the congregation in the church.  If a mama was not welcomed in nave while nursing, it's quite possible that for a period of time she might not be able to enter it at all.

That said, I was always a bit more cautious to cover during church.  Regardless of location, I've always used a nursing cover when possible, out of personal preference.  I support a woman's choice to nurse without a cover, and some women who do so are much less conspicuous without a cover than I am with one, but for me, this was the more comfortable option. In church, my cautiousness with covering did not have to do with "decency" but with my own comfort level.    I felt a little more "visible" nursing during Mass, since I'd often be sitting to nurse while others are standing or kneeling, and at these times I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb.  It's possible no one even noticed, but it was comforting to me to have that cover securely on. 

(I will add that a huge part of my desire to cover at Mass when Lucia was nursing was because many of my students were there.  I was hoping to avoid "I saw the Spanish teacher's boobies!" being the talk of the playground.)

In our 15 months of breastfeeding in public, Lucia and I never had a negative experience in church or elsewhere.  Some sideways glaces or stares, sure, but I get some looks like that when I'm not nursing (perhaps just because I (gasp!) have a child at my age - mid-twenties - or because I'm babywearing and that's a hippie thing or maybe my fly was down, who knows?).  If I were to ever get a negative comment in Mass, though, you better believe I'd talk to the pastor about it.  If we as Christians want to cultivate a "culture of life" in which babies are valued, we also have to support the natural way in which babies are nourished, the same way that our Savior was nourished.

Many thanks to Emily for suggesting the topic.  I'm sure she'd love to hear your stories, experiences, and opinions regarding nursing in church as well (I know I would).