Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Jesus was right, being first isn't always the best idea.

Ok, so maybe this isn't exactly what he meant when he said, "So the last shall be first, and the first last" (Matthew 20:16), but I am the first of my close friends to get married (and at the current moment, still the only married one) and I am only the second to get pregnant (my only close friend with a child has an almost 5-year-old, so she's a little rusty in the pregnancy/baby department as it is).  I really wish that I had friends I could look to advice about marriage and pregnancy right now.  Not that we're having problems, it would just be nice to discuss.  And, as I've mentioned before (ad nauseum) I wish I had some friends that shared my Catholic views on marriage, parenting, life in general.  Not to mention a newlywed, pregnant, Catholic friend... that would be heavenly!  I really feel alone in all this, especially since my mom and grandma don't live nearby to help me through my first pregnancy.  My mom herself is quite rusty at the whole pregnancy/baby thing since my little brother just turned 19, but what is it about finding out that you are an expectant mommy that makes you want your own mommy?

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining... I'm not!  This baby is an incredible blessing!  Once my husband and I decided that there were no "grave reasons" in our marriage that would necessitate postponing pregnancy, we completely gave the decision over to God.  Since He has decided that now is the time for us to have a baby, I know that He thinks we are able to work through an out-of-state move, financial uncertainty and anything else that might occur during this pregnancy.  After all, someone does need to be first and I take comfort knowing that I'll be there to help my friends when they get to the marriage and children part of their lives.  I don't like not knowing what to do or say to help a friend, so maybe this is a blessing.  And, of course, my friends will support me in every way they can, even if they haven't been there themselves.  Not to mention the great blogging community I have to rely on for advice!

But I am wondering... has anyone else been in the same boat I'm in (experiencing your first pregnancy away from a support system, being "the first" in your group to get married/have kids, etc.)?  If so, did you find anything specific helped?  If nothing else, any suggestions about pregnancy books that might help me out?  


  1. First of all, congratulations on your exciting news! A baby, what joy!

    I was definitely in the same boat as you, away from my family, fairly newly married, and expecting. I was and am still the first of my siblings to have a child and one of the first among my friends, so it can be tough to try to figure out everything without a guiding light, so to speak. One thing that helped me was talking to my Mom on the phone a lot about every little baby related thing. I think that helped both of us bridge the distance and for her to feel a part of the pregnancy. I also became much closer to my one friend who had a child. Motherhood is definitely it's own club.

    So if it's any comfort, the blogging community is definitely a place to at least read about other women who are leading lives similar to your own. Not the same as having in real life friends, but it helps a little.

    Congrats again! Sorry I wrote so much. And God bless you and your growing family:)


  2. Jennie, thanks! You never need to apologize for writing too much. Your advice is always appreciated!


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