Monday, September 9, 2013

On Marrying Young: Someone to Battle Life With

There has been a huge revival in these series recently as I've received many new contributions!  I'm loving it!  The most recent email I received is from Susie, a sweet young wife who recently celebrated her first anniversary.  One of the things I most appreciate about this series is that the women who write from it range from newlyweds to "old pros" and their experiences and circumstances are even more varied. 

"Are you pregnant," the boy asked.

Angry, offended, and more than slightly annoyed I informed him I was not. 

That day, one week after I got engaged and two day after  turned 21, I discovered that those outside my "marriage mill" Christian university assumed that a ring on a girl's figure meant an unplanned pregnancy.

But for me, for me it meant that I finally had someone to battle life with.

I lost my father unexpectedly five day before my 16th birthday. That day, I stopped being a child and had to grow into an adult. I was the oldest of eight kids, so I had to figure out life on my own. Just me and God. I found a way to pay for college debt free, buy a car debt free, and be a responsible adult. But it was a struggle to do it all alone, without another human to stand alongside me.

 I started "liking" a boy I'd known my senior year of high school. Nine months later (after high school graduation) we started officially dating. From the beginning, people thought we would work out. There was something about the introverted geeky boy and the extrovert writer girl that promised a bright future for us. 


We talked about marriage from the beginning, planning on getting married once he was done with his first Air Force enlistment. But years of a long distance relationship is exhausting, and we ended up planning on getting married the summer we turned twenty one. 

And get married we did. 

We've been married for thirteen months  and I'm eighteen weeks pregnant with our first child. It's been a phenomenal year. For the first time in my life I have a human partner (God's always been with me) and life seems that much easier with Stephen by my side. 

Getting married "young" can be the best experience, but a person must prepare. Someone who knows how to work hard, how to sacrifice, how to give, and strives to love unconditionally is ready for marriage. Just being in "love" doesn't count. There's so much more to marriage. Stephen and I had made sacrifices in our relationship. We had to work extra hard to communicate and love well because of time zone differences and miles. I knew that, because of my dedication to going to college debt free, I wouldn't be bringing in debt to our marriage. Stephen knew that because he had loved me through years of distance and struggles, he was prepared to love me as a husband loves a wife. 


Did we know what this year would bring?  No. But we knew we were prepared to share our lives, our passions, and even our bank accounts. 

Both of us had experienced life on our own, and we knew it would be better with each other. With a partner. I love my husband so much more than I did on my wedding day, and I pray a year from now that love with have multiplied again. Neither Stephen nor I believe divorce is an option, so we have a great incentive to work through our trials and better our marriage. We're one another's first loves, so there's no awkward history to deal with. Just the history we created. 

I got married at twenty one and I'm blessed because of it.


Susie is a 22 year old almost college grad, who spends her free time working as a barista, writing, and finding adventure with her high school sweetheart of a husband. She blogs at where she writes about paying for college debt free, life in the Air Force, and confessing the idiosyncrasies of a pregnant barista. 

Check out the other posts in the On Marrying Young series here.


  1. Great post! I was asked the same question when I was engaged at age 20. So true, you finally have someone to battle life together with!

  2. I'm getting married in a few weeks and am only 23 and have countless people ask me "Why get married so young?" "you have the rest of your life!" "Let yourself be young" But I couldn't agree with you more. If I have found the person who brings me closer to Christ, who strives to make me a saint, who pushes me to be a better person no matter what is going on in our lives, why would I just put that off for a few years? I guess people don't realize you CAN in fact find that person whether you're 23 or 73. Thanks for the great post, glad to see I'm not the only one :)

    1. I love your comment, Belle! I got married at 23 as well- so many people ask me if I miss going to clubs and partying. Well... I never really did that, so there's nothing to miss! We've been married for just over a year, and this first year of marriage has seen it's bumps (marriage doesn't make you a better person over night... that's a lesson I had to learn the hard way!), but I love my life and I wouldn't trade it for even one night "clubbing!"


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