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Bad mother, exhibit one: I locked Lucia in the car on Monday. It was stressful. Thank goodness it was just in front of our house, the weather was a perfect medium, and my parents were there to keep me calm and call for a locksmith. She was in the car a total of 40 minutes, and was happy as a clam the first 35. Needless to say, even after the car was opened and keys retrieved, we didn't leave the house that day.
Bad mother, exhibit two: Lucia climbed out of her crib yesterday during naptime and I didn't notice for hours. I put her in her crib for nap, she screamed, but eventually played with some toys, then quieted down and fell asleep. She woke up and I could here her playing for a while and since she was playing so nicely, I left her to play by herself. Finally, I went in to get her and she was on the floor! And had been there since the beginning of nap because she I had heard her playing with a toy that wasn't in her crib (she has a similar one that I put in the crib with her so I didn't notice until I went to get her). I can't imagine that she climbed down the outside gracefully, so that means my baby fell all that way and I didn't run in right away to comfort her. Thank goodness her room is mostly child-proofed (although her furniture isn't anchored to the walls yet) and she didn't get into any mischief at all. She wasn't hurt and I acted normally the rest of the afternoon, but I'm still a bit rattled.
That said, we are in desperate need of some major nap time advice. Lucia still takes two naps a day. Usually, we put her in
her crib, she fusses for a few minutes (or not at all), then is out like
a light. She often wakes up after an hour or hour and a half,
fusses/plays for a few minutes and falls back asleep. When she wakes up for good, she'll play by herself in her crib for a while (we usually don't leave her in there for long). It was working wonderfully for us.
The past few days though, Lulu's been screaming when we put her in her crib. I've tried other more gentle ways of putting her to sleep - staying with her in her room, cuddling with her in our bed, nursing her, rocking her, etc. - but none of them have worked. If we don't just leave her in her crib crying, she won't end up sleeping at all. I didn't like leaving her screaming, but she needs to sleep and I couldn't find any alternatives. We lowered her crib so I doubt she'll be getting out again any time soon, but this incident made me realize that we have to find another way. What worked for you? I prefer to use gentler parenting methods, but I'm willing to try anything that will work. Also, keep in mind that she goes down for naps much better for David and the babysitter than she does for me.
Which leads me to my goals for Lent. I really only have one: be a better mother. I didn't give up something specific, although I have decided to limit my internet time to when Lucia is sleeping (I haven't done the best job of this so far, but I am trying). I also want to increase my face-to-face time with her. I spend quite a bit of time with her, and much of that time you could even say that I am playing with her, but I'm often distracted doing something else at the same time. I need to be spending more time looking into her eyes, letting her see that mama is looking, mama is paying attention, mama cares and delights in her.
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| How can a mama not delight in her? |
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| She's just so much fun. |
Come visit my brand new accessory shop, Blessed Life Boutique. I
opened it just a few days ago via Kitsy Lane and I am so excited! The
jewelry and accessories are so trendy. feminine, and affordable. The items in
my shop are hand-picked by me and I can even choose specific items for
my flash sale each week (this week's flash sale is feather &
arrow inspired). I'd love if you would sign up as a customer. I have
$20 off a $45 purchase coupons for the first 10 customers that sign
up. (15% off coupons are available to everyone right now!) I'd love if you'd
sign up as a customer and take a look at what I have to offer.
If you are interested in starting your own Kitsy Lane boutique, you can do so here. It's super easy to start up (it only took me a few minutes),
is absolutely free, and involves only as much time investment as you
are willing to put into it. Obviously, the more you promote and the
more customers you get, the more you'll earn, but if you wanted to only
put in a few hours a month, you can still earn money. The best part,
it's super fun to pick out accessories for your own shop and style
outfits to show off your pieces:
If you are still looking for something for your family to do for Lent, may I suggest collecting your change for Kaia! Her family needs help fundraising the cost of her adoption. If you would like to donate to this young lady and her family, you can do so here. Between now and February 28, all proceeds from ad space on Messy Wife, Blessed Life will go toward Kaia's adoption fund. If you have a blog or business, this is a great way to gain exposure as well as help this sweet little girl! It's a win-win. See ad space options here.
Hannabert started screaming about being in his crib for naps about the same time. He also is quite agile with getting out of the crib on the lowest setting. For the last few nights we have been putting him down on the guest bed but our plan is to convert the crib to a toddler bed this weekend. He doesn't like being placed into the crib. I also think that he started sleepwalking (wonder week jump - great book by the way) and will just appear in our hallway.
ReplyDeleteHey Mandi, First...I wanted you to know I tagged you in a post :) http://www.theredheadedprincess.com/2013/02/what-you-been-dying-to-know.html
ReplyDeleteSecond, being a mother to three and a preschool teacher (2 year olds) the past 10 years... and hearing that she listens to the babysitter and Daddy better...I would use a firmer tone with her. It's so hard when they're so cute and cuddly..but she's playing you :) Those kiddos are SUPER smart! Depending on her age..maybe consider a transition toddler bed? And just be firm and consistent. Every time she gets out of bed. Firmly put her back. No smiles, cuddles or anything. I know..it's super hard. It could take several days of this but if she knows you're not backing down she may give up. :) (I'm a spare the rod spoil the child philosophy if all else fails...bc some kids are just too stubborn..lol...I have 3 very different princesses and the middle one needed the 'rod'..but my baby #3 just needs a stern tone..so it depends on the child. :) good luck!
Aw, Mandi, please don't be too hard on yourself. You just happened to have two things in one week happen to you that happens to lots of people just further apart.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post on making money on the internet. I have never tried any of those types of things and I had no idea how much was out there!
This just reminded me that our movers found the spare keys to my car when they were packing us, and they brought them to us. Apparently they are not allowed to pack keys. I'm going to remember that for when we pack ourselves up so I always have them!
ReplyDeleteI don't personally know you, Mandi, but I am sure that you are far far far from being a "bad mother". We all definitely have our moments. I wish I had advice on naptime... my son used to just nap in a swing and now my daughter who used to be so good at napping and bedtime refuses to do so without a fight. I feel ya, Mama, I feel ya.
ReplyDeleteHi Mandi! Just started reading your blog recently. I'm loving your honesty and find myself identifying with a lot of what you write.
ReplyDeleteUntil recently, my son (17 months) has always slept much better for a sitter. I keep trying to remind myself that it's because he wants to play & be with me, not the sitter. Around 14 months, which I'm pretty sure is a bit early, he started only taking one nap. The hour before is a bit rocky and he's always had a rough hour between 4:30 and 5:30pm. Seriously, you can set your clock to him. Tantrum after tantrum. Sigh. Anyway, I'm not sure how old your sweet little girl is - just over a year? Could you push naptime back a bit? We pushed his back - the second was around 4:30ish. Totally late for a nap, but he needed it at that point & we just pushed bedtime back a bit. We'd wake him up if it got too late for him to be napping.
Another thing that has helped us immensely is saying "night night" to the things in his room. Always the same wording, in the same order. After doing it for a couple of weeks, he knew what was coming and while he doesn't always "listen" that it's naptime or bedtime, I feel like most of the time, it helps him to switch gears. We also read before bed & naptime. Again, same books every time.
I do let him cry a little - only for about 5 minutes, but I feel that I know his different cries. He will of course protest, but a lot of the time, he'll stop within 5 minutes. When he doesn't, I go back in, lay him back down, give him his lovey & paci, say "I love you, it's night night time," sometimes I rub his back for a minute, and walk out. In the beginning I had to just about camp out on the other side of his door.
We also removed all noisy toys from his bedroom. He only has books & toys that don't light up/sing/flash, etc. That was a lot. I hope that some part of it was helpful. Good luck!