Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Worrying is NOT a "Mom Thing"

My mom has always been a worrier.  And she's always justified her worrying by saying, "You'll know what it's like to worry like this when you're a mom." 
Guess what?  I'm a mom now and no one would describe me as a worrier.  
Do I worry about the big things?  Sure.  When there is a reason for the worry.
But the little stuff?  Not really.
I'm not an uptight mom.  I'm much more go-with-the-flow.  I know there are a ton of moms out there like my mom.  Worriers.  And if you are anything like my mom, that worry erodes some of your happiness.  Your freedom.  It steals some of the joy from your life.  And keeps you from enjoying what you have.  
I have my own joy stealers and time wasters.  My biggest one is planning.  Always planning for a bigger, better future and never enjoying the present.  Dreaming and planning about the "whens".  "When David gets a job, we'll...."  "When we buy a house, we'll...."  "We'll do X when..."
But I don't worry.  Not really.  I worry about Lucia's health when she has a particularly nasty cough.  But not when she has a little runny nose and definitely not when she's healthy.
That doesn't mean I don't prepare.  That I don't make rules or have safety measures.  That I don't take my daughter for check ups or put plug covers in the plugs.  It just means that once I do what I can do, I don't dwell on it any more.  
I wish this was a tutorial post.  I wish I could give you a few short steps to living a worry free life.  But it's not.  I think hardcore worrying is the combination of temperament and life experiences.  Maybe you're a born worrier like my mom or had a traumatic event that caused your worry overload.  Maybe both.
I only have two pieces of advice, and they are both pretty vague:
1. Trust in God.  Lay your worry on Him.  I admit this can be difficult and it's not a guarantee that bad things won't ever happen to you and those you love, just the knowledge that God will help carry you through whatever comes.
2. Excessive worry is not a "mom thing".  It's not obligatory.  It's not necessary.  Don't feel like you have to worry because you are a mom.  Don't think if you don't worry, you aren't a concerned, caring mother.  My mom is not the only one who wrongly thinks this way.  Care for your child the best you can, that's all you can do, and then don't worry about the rest.  


  1. I think sometimes moms feel like if they aren't worrying then they aren't loving. Worry somehow translates to love, care and devotion. As you have said, it is okay to be concerned, to worry about the big things, but in the end, we must entrust everything to the Lord. Great pics!!

  2. To be truly abandoned, to trust in God, as our coins say, is a lifelong task. I still, after more than six decades, have to continually remember to trust.


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